Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny might have been right when he said he was sure Bertie Ahern was glad to be away on State business. For the State's business in the Dáil yesterday was about yet another "botched" computer- related system that did not work, a favourite Opposition topic.
In fact, the latest system does not even exist. It fell into a "black hole", said Enda, the same bottomless pit that had swallowed the e-voting system, the €150 million PPARs system and the Punchestown system, among others.
With the attention-grabbing title of Irish Health Services Portal, it was planned to be a single internet point for the public to access health services. The portal was ready for launch in May 2004, which then minister for health Micheál Martin duly did.
The Department of Health confirmed in July that the portal was up and running. But "the portal doesn't exist. It isn't there, it has disappeared. It is an ex-portal," Enda exclaimed.
The Fine Gael leader concluded that Micheál's photocall was the "most expensive photocall in the history of the State" at €3 million.
But now there is a plan for a new system, with the equally exciting name of "unified website", to replace the "gloriously disappeared" portal.
Rising to defend the Government, Tánaiste Mary Harney astounded her Opposition colleagues when she said that in the US only 28 per cent of technology worked the first time around. She added that the portal had been suspended in February because the technology was not compatible, and a new smaller tender had been put in for a €250,000 system.
But announcing that future projects would have to get ministerial approval, she said single lines of accountability would hopefully avoid future mistakes.
Labour leader Pat Rabbitte thought that everything the HSE had been doing since it was set up was to "try and stop what Micheál Martin was doing when he was minister".
The Tánaiste kept a straight face, but her colleagues and Government backbenchers were hard pressed to keep the smiles from their faces. It was a case of "closing the portal after the horse has bolted", said Rabbitte.
He then turned his focus to those backbenchers and said they used to come into the House for leaders' questions, but no longer, "for whatever reason".
"We're here," said one of the eight FF backbenchers present, to some laughter. But it was a mistake. For it drew the mockery of Labour TD Seán Ryan, who got the loudest laugh when he shouted back: "That's the size of your back bench after the next election".