Watch the skies in Fenagh, Co Carlow, where you may see an airborne "watchcat". The flying plastic cat was invented by Kathleen O'Hara, who was forever pla gued by birds pecking at the silage and creating holes in the plastic. As anyone who has ever had anything to do with farming knows, holes are a disaster because they let light in and destroy the silage, said the Nationalist and Leinster Times.
Ever since Kathleen hoisted a plastic cat high above the silage, the birds have stayed away. Maybe the cat deserves the credit or maybe the birds have all drowned.
The 1998 tourist season is the worst of the 1990s - a complete wash-out, said the Kerryman. The "dramatic slump" in business in all the county's top tourist destinations is a result of the wettest June on record and the World Cup.
The Puck Fair is carrying on regardless and crowned its queen last week, 12-year-old Claire Coyle of Dungeel, Killorglin. "I would like to be queen of Puck because I feel the goat and I would get on very well on the stand," Claire said.
The fair, which will begin on August 10th, "is all set to take Killorglin into the new millennium" with a new steel stand for the goat and a mechanical winch to lift it 40 feet into place, said the Kerryman.
The Longford Leader speculated on the "golden handshake" being used by the Department of Environment to winch some long-standing county councillors out of office to make room for "new blood".
If all Longford's councillors were to accept payments under the new Local Authority Members Gratuity Scheme, the council would have to pay out £350,000. The Leitrim Observer said the "scrappage deal for councillors" could be worth between £15,000 and £20,000 to each councillor who decides never to stand for re-election.
Councillors who run for office and lose their seats will also lose the golden handshake, which has some in a quandary. They have to apply for the payment by September 15th, although local elections are not until June next year.
The Observer pointed out an enticing option for the undecided: they can apply for the golden handshake and hand it back later if they decided to go for re-election. Call it an interest-free loan.
A circuit court judge has demanded an end to "the debs", said the Mayo News. Judge Harvey Kenny warned publicans, hoteliers and licensed premises owners that their trading licenses would be forfeited by the courts if they are found supplying drink to underage people at such functions.
He was speaking after hearing a case which involved a youth who was deaf in his right year as the result of a thump he received from a friend who was "totally intoxicated".
The Roscommon Champion said a new anti-underage drinking group, Cumhdach Oige Ros comain, is campaigning against extending pub opening hours and in favour of a nationwide ID card scheme. A new ID card scheme devised by gardai and local publicans was laun ched in Trim, Co Meath, by the Minister for the Environment, and Local Government, Mr Dempsey, said the Meath Chronicle.
The horror of "three little innocent children being burnt alive in their beds" prompted the Impartial Reporter to comment: "While the vast majority of people agreed that the [Drumcree] protest should be called off, the Portadown Orange leadership displayed remarkable and obstinate callousness . . . And for two nights, while three little white coffins lay awaiting burial, the socalled `dignified' protest continued. How disgusting!"
The Orange Order leadership was "out of touch with the feelings of thousands of decent Orangemen and women" and was "losing massive support among many middle-of-the-road Protestants who would usually have sympathy with the institution," it said.
"The spotlight now is on the Orange Order and who speaks for it. Is it the ordinary decent members, who want no part in the law breaking, destruction and triumphalist coat-trailing that has gone on, or is it the zealots who are determined that might is right and they will have their way, whatever damage it does to Northern Ireland?
"Would the real Orange Order please stand up?"