Last week's theft of a section of the Liffey wall marks an alarming escalation in Dublin's battle against crime. The Liffey has been an inspiration to the city's writers and artists down the years, but until recently it had never inspired any ideas in the criminals. Then came the night of August 14th, when thieves armed with lifting equipment and what garda∅ said was "a lot of cheek" broke into a construction site on the quays, and made off with 24 square metres of the wall, which had been under repair following an accident.
Whether these were experienced criminals or just stonemasons gone bad is not known. But the loss of part of the 200-year-old granite structure left Dublin Corporation both puzzled and angry. The deputy city engineer - poignantly, in the circumstances, a Mr Tim Brick - called the missing section "priceless" and added: "I don't know what they want it for, or what they would do with it. But it's very annoying."
The fear now must be that the city's entire infrastructure is at risk of theft. Sewer pipes could be the next target, although the immediate focus of concern will be heavy stone materials. Certainly, if there is an underground trade in blocks, as seems to be the case, the Wellington Monument can no longer be considered safe. At the very least, Dublin should stop boasting that it's the largest obelisk in Europe, which in the current circumstances is like issuing a quarrying licence. A smaller but equally obvious target is the Anna Livia Fountain in O'Connell Street (a work which was, of course, inspired by the Liffey, although critics are divided as to whether it falls into the category of art or crime).
An even more worrying possibility is that the thieves are supplying the international market in Irish souvenirs. Road signs are already a staple in themed Irish pubs, but a genuine piece of Liffey wall - taken in this case from opposite the Guinness Brewery! - would up the ante for any pub willing to run the risk. If so, who knows what might be next on the market? Genuine manhole covers, perhaps, or the steps of the GPO? Even the Molly Malone statue on Grafton Street might be a target, although this is perhaps unduly optimistic (surely "alarmist"? - Ed).
Whatever the reason, the news that infrastructure is being targeted is especially worrying at this time, when the National Development Plan is leaving unprecedented amounts of the stuff lying around. No sooner will a project be "rolled out", as they say, than criminals could be rolling it back up again and hauling it away in a van. Already I can hear the apologies for disruption to the LUAS: "Normal service will resume as soon as we find the missing section of the line".
Indeed, the wall robbers appear to have taken advantage of the extraordinary amount of construction work going on in the city, day and night. People must have seen them in the act, and assumed they were genuine workers. But then, thieves could remove the surface of O'Connell Street during morning rush-hour and nobody would bat an eyelid, least of all the drivers held up. Everybody would assume it was essential maintenance by one of the city's 97 telecommunications companies.
I'm taking it for granted that the wall was stolen. The other possibility is that it's being held for ransom. This theory arises from events in New York where, two months ago, a $1 million Marc Chagall painting was stolen from the Jewish Museum and everyone assumed it was just another robbery until a ransom letter turned up.
The kidnappers demanded - wait for it - "peace in the Middle East" as the price of the painting's return. This is, of course, ludicrously unrealistic: to have any chance of getting peace in the Middle East, you'd need at least a Van Gogh. But police are satisfied from details given that the people who sent the letter do have information about the painting's whereabouts.
Maybe the city fathers will get a ransom demand in due course. My guess is that the only group desperate enough to steal a wall for political reasons would be crazed motorists demanding the reopening of an inbound section of the Naas dual carriageway, or something. But until that happens, we must assume this is simple theft.
So if you hear of granite blocks "falling off the back of a lorry" anywhere, the advice is: get out of the way quick - that stuff is heavy! Then report it to your local Garda station. Failing this, garda∅ are appealing for information from anyone who may have seen the hole-in-the-wall gang at work. They're also asking the public, when discussing the case, to please refrain from saying that police are looking into it.
fmcnally@irish-times.ie
