I suppose I know several hundred meteorologists. When you think about it, that is quite a lot, considering many people might know one or two, but seldom more. I have known weathermen who collected stamps, and who have written books on bridge, who played golf and football, and who could never resist a visit to the zoo.
One I knew was very fond of snakes, several had a weakness for the wine, and a few have had tendencies that might best be lumped together under "miscellaneous". But I have never come across a meteorologist who was a poet.
It seems a pity, really. If Samuel Taylor Coleridge, for example, had earned his living as a weather forecaster, instead of beginning "The following gale warning has been issued . . .", and going on to cite a litany of "Heads", he might have started off:
This night, so tranquil now, will not go hence
Unroused by winds, that ply a busier trade
Than those which mould yon cloud in lazy flakes.
But real life is a narrative in prose. And a gale warning is short, concise, specific in its content, and most definitely not composed in rhyming couplets.
The first part of a gale warning tells us the areas where it applies. Irish warnings are anchored on the headlands around the coast, and extend for 30 miles out to sea.
By tradition, the coastline is described in a clockwise direction, although to make doubly sure, three headlands are always mentioned. There is therefore no doubt that a warning in force from "Mizen Head to Loop Head to Fair Head" refers to the west and north coasts of Ireland.
The gale warning also specifies the direction of the gales, and gives an indication of the strength of the expected winds. The lowest wind for which it is considered necessary to issue a warning is gale force 8 on the Beaufort Scale, 40 to 45 mph or thereabouts.
This is the average strength of the expected wind; listeners must anticipate that the wind may gust for short periods to speeds significantly in excess of these values. If the average wind is expected to be even stronger, the warning may specify strong gale - force nine on the Beaufort Scale - or storm force 10 or 11, which bring the wind to 60 or 70 mph.
Winds over land, however, may be up to 30 per cent less than might be expected blowing over water, which explains why a few miles inland the breeze may be barely noticeable on a day when the radio may suggest that gales are blowing almost everywhere.