AS everyone who's ever watched a Hollywood action movie knows, US policemen enjoy nothing better than writing off patrol cars in high-speed chases.
The reality for the Garda Siochana is a little bit more prosaic. A driver who makes a habit of writing off cars, or even damaging them, will soon find himself "grounded" and on his way back, to the Garda driving school in Templemore, unless he finds some good excuses.
In dealing with the more routine crimes, patrol cars are discouraged from engaging in hots pursuit of the Hollywood kind, or are at least urged to exercise extreme caution when doing so.
But chases do happen - like yesterday morning, for instance. The Dun Laoghaire night patrol must have been thinking about the end of its shift when, at 5 a.m., it suddenly found itself on the trail of a stolen Honda Legend car.
The theft was at Rochestown Avenue and the thieves made off towards Loughlinstown with the patrol car hot on their rear bumper. At Cabinteely, the Legend turned right and was soon proceeding back northwards, going the wrong way up the dual carriageway with the gardai still following.
Garda Command and Control in Harcourt Square was monitoring the chase and by now had twice cautioned the patrol car to exercise caution. By now, seven or eight other cars were also involved in the chase to some degree or another.
In a literally fast-moving situation, where patrols are crossing and recrossing district and divisional boundaries, Garda Control operates an open radio channel which all city units pick up. A patrol car in Dublin 4, for example, will hear that the stolen vehicle is northbound, and move into place to intercept it.
Fast as a Honda Legend can undoubtedly travel, however, the thieves could not put sufficient distance between them and their pursuers. They abandoned the car off Carysfort Avenue, Blackrock, and attempted escape by the novel method of climbing up trees - in which they presumably hoped to hide. But they were only half way up when the gardai arrived and two youths from Crumlin were soon helping the police with their inquiries.
The whole chase, from Dun Laoghaire to Cabinteely and back to Blackrock, had taken about height minutes. A Garda car is out of action as a result of the chase, and it will be up to the driver's superiors to judge whether it was damaged in justifiable circumstances.
For the rest of DMA East's day, as on most days, surveillance of cars is a great deal less dramatic. But it is constant. A good garda has a sixth sense for spotting people who don't belong to the environment they're in, and with so many people moving around in some form of four-wheeled conveyance, this natural suspicion is focused as often as not on vehicles.
If you happen to drive an old car and you imagine you're always getting suspicious looks from the gardai, you're probably right. The old banger you're so fond of will draw constant attention - usually covert - because of its similarity to the "company cars" favoured by many small-time criminals.
So named by the gardai, company cars are vehicles which have an urgent appointment with the scrapyard but which are bought for small sums of money for use in short criminal outings. They are usually neither taxed nor insured and they rarely see a full tank of petrol.
Conversely, of course, a car which has better upholstery than its driver will attract suspicion, too. Driving around with patrols in DMA East, the conversation is frequently interrupted by calls to Garda Control for a check on a registration number.
The Garda Control file lists the registered owner, make and colour of the car, and any crime history it may have.
Over time, it becomes second nature to gardai. Driving to Dun Laoghaire station yesterday afternoon, for instance, Insp John Roche becomes instinctively suspicious about a transit van in front. It is somewhat the worse for wear and it slows down occasionally while driving along a residential road. He automatically memorises the registration number and the unit on duty will be briefed to watch for the van for the rest of the afternoon.
Later, a van parked outside a plush house off Monkstown Road is checked more informally, since its back door is open and the owner is clearly around. A polite inquiry finds he is delivering a van load of firewood. This scene is repeated, with variations, many times a day.
