Attention, all you cool cats driving this weekend: No matter where you are going, what you plan to attend or how you plan to use the roads this weekend, slow down.
To borrow from Ella Fitzgerald, albeit poorly: "It don't mean a thing if you ain't there [right] on time."
In fact, to practice, slow down reading this article. The information below will still be there in two minutes. Much like roads and your chosen destination. And when you see some lunatic doing something unspeakable on the roads, breath deeply and do nothing.
When planning travel over this weekend, remember also that the clocks go back by one hour, giving you even more time to slow down.
Right. So where are we going (slowly) this weekend? Well, thousands, tens of thousands and possibly a even a few more thousand are going to the Independent Republic of Cork for the Jazz Festival.
Many are driving. If you are, listen to jazz on the way, it is elegant, vibrant and controlled. Drive to the rhythm. Don't driving while listening to anything with 40 beats per second and leave plenty of time.
AA Ireland is warning of heavy traffic on the main N7 and N8 travelling to Cork while traffic in Cork city centre will be extremely heavy all weekend.
Up to 8,000 football fans are expected at Tolka Park this evening for the meeting of Shamrock Rovers and St Patrick's Athletic at 7pm.
Tomorrow, more than 30,000 people are due to attend the first test in the International Rules 2006 that, hopefully, will be remembered for sporting rather than GBH reasons, as the 2005 series was.
The game at Pearce Stadium, Salthill, Galway, is a sellout, and drivers should expect heavy traffic along approach routes to the city and around the city centre prior to the 7.15 kickoff.
The following day, the October race meeting gets under way at Ballybrit, and there will be a special continuous bus service from Galway city centre during racing.
A slightly smaller, but no less noisy, crowd is expected Thomond Park to see the European Cup champions play their second Heineken Cup game of this season against Bourgoin. Kick-off is at 5.15pm, and this too is a sellout.
On Sunday Sligo Rovers meet Derry City at the Showgrounds with a crowd of between 7 and 8,000 expected for a 3.15pm kick-off.
Finally, on Monday, the Dublin City Marathon starts on Nassau Street at 9am. There will be road closures along the route throughout the day. Anyone intending to cross the city is advised to use the M50 Westlink or the Eastlink toll bridges.
