A large group of Fine Gael TDs were whipped out in order to welcome George Lee on his first day in the Dáil, writes MIRIAM LORDat Dáil Eireann
THE PRECISE manner of George Lee’s arrival was under discussion outside Leinster House.
Quite a crowd had gathered.
“He’ll be arriving on a Steinway.” “But that’s a grand piano.” “Oh.”
Is there no end to the man’s talents? But no, the new FG deputy for Dublin South would not be arriving in the style of Liberace, no more than he was going to roll up to the Kildare Street gates on his “Segway”. This is a two-wheeled mode of electric transport favoured by TD Lee.
One of his new parliamentary party colleagues (backbench) ventured an answer.
“He’s going to ascend from below and leave a big feckin’ hole in the ground and we’ll all fall into it.” A definite touch of jealousy there.
Said deputy was among a large group of TDs whipped out onto the plinth to act as a welcoming party for George on his first day in the Dáil. They were joined by Fine Gael office staff, day-trippers caught up in the excitement and most of the front bench.
Party leader Inda Kinny was greeter-in-chief.
Inda is behaving like the captain of a county team which has won the All-Ireland championship after decades in the wilderness. And George is his Sam Maguire.
He’s been dragging his shiny new trophy around with him everywhere since the day the former RTÉ correspondent announced he was giving up showbiz to follow the contemplative life of an opposition backbencher.
No matter where Inda goes now, people have the same questions: Did you bring him? Can we see him? Can we hold him? Can we fill him full of drink? Can we put a baby in his arms? At this rate, George Lee will need a tour manager. Enda says almost every branch of the party, the length and breadth of the country, has put in a request to headquarters for George to address them on the economic situation.
This is a good thing, as it will keep him occupied. Deputy Lee won’t be as busy as he thinks when it comes to getting involved in business in the Dáil chamber. Politics comes dropping slow in Leinster House.
Between media personnel, Oireachtas security and the aforementioned crowd on the plinth, a cast of thousands assembled to welcome George, The People’s Princess.
Gardaí stopped the traffic so he could cross the road.
Another press conference. “Next step . . . humbled . . . not daunted . . . new era of responsibility . . .” George wore a lovely suit, and a lovely purple striped tie. They’ll have to go back to wardrobe in RTÉ.
With the aid of the fire brigade and some cutting equipment, it was possible to prise Inda from George’s shoulder long enough for the new deputy to pose for a photograph with his family. They waved, and suddenly, we could see them doing the same thing, outside Government Buildings, on a different day.
Budget Day.
Maureen O’Sullivan, the new deputy for Dublin Central, was next to arrive. She made her entrance surrounded by colleagues from the “Gregory Group” and was escorted to the chamber by fellow Independent deputy Finian McGrath.
With their families and supporters safely ensconced in the public gallery, the two new deputies waited at the back of the chamber until it was time for them to take their seats. In the meantime, the Taoiseach led in his Cabinet.
They all shook hands with Maureen as they passed her, and then, looking rather puzzled, they all shook hands with Finian, who was delighted with himself.
To applause and a standing ovation, Deputy McGrath – who had spent the morning grooming his moustache in preparation for this moment – escorted Maureen down the steps and onto the floor of the House. There were smiles and a few tears from family and supporters above in the gallery. They included the late Tony Gregory’s partner, Annette Dolan; his brother Noel, and Maureen’s sister, Sheila.
Next in was George Lee. Deputies on the Fine Gael benches were beside themselves with joy. It fell to chief whip, Paul Kehoe, to squire their Sam Maguire down into the chamber.
Again, applause and a standing ovation from all sides of the house. But the Fine Gael deputies couldn’t help themselves. They began to cheer, giddy with success.
Across the floor, Fianna Fáil deputies gritted their teeth and smiled. After all, you don’t get many real live celebrities in the place. And after a few weeks, he’ll just be like one of them. Frustrated.
Sen Joe O’Toole, who watched Deputy Lee’s ascension into Blueshirt heaven, remarked afterwards: “He’ll need counselling within the month.” George took his seat, directly behind his leader, Enda Kenny.
“He’s behind ya!” they sneered from the Government benches. “Watch your back, Enda!”
They got down to work with the order of business. For once, James Bannon didn’t participate with a question on whither the National Monuments Bill. It was probably decided at executive level not to expose poor George to an eruption from Bonkers until he’s found his feet.
Labour’s Joan Burton asked a question on the National Asset Management Agency. George leaned forward as the Taoiseach answered, drumming his fingers on the ledge in front.
When Biffo delivered his confidence in himself speech, George whipped out a small notebook and began taking notes. People in the press gallery started to giggle.
Before long, he had put the notebook away and appeared to be slipping into a coma.
Sensibly, he repaired a little while later to the bar, where his family was waiting. Maureen O’Sullivan was also having a little celebration there.
But not before he heard his leader trying to rise the row with Biffo over the use of the word “toilet”. He also witnessed him baiting Paul Gogarty of the Greens. Paul retaliated by telling Enda he wasn’t taoiseach because he had “no balls”. (Enda, not Paul.) The Opposition united to torment Deputy Gogarty over the time he played dead on the floor of a public meeting because he didn’t like what he was hearing.
“Do a roly-poly there on the floor,” exhorted Labour’s Kathleen Lynch.
By teatime, the excitement was over. The two new deputies seemed a little shell-shocked.
As for George, he thought there were lots of interesting points that could have been debated. But he was a bit annoyed by the way people kept jumping up and down and interrupting.
He’ll grow out of it.
Finally, a newsflash: Word has reached us that the Ceann Comhairle and Cathaoirleach of the Seanad will not be arriving by horse and carriage today, as had been promised, to make their announcement about the Oireachtas Family Day.
Instead, they will just walk on to the plinth. The Bull has put the tiara in mothballs and Sen Moylan has returned the frock.
At least the horse is relieved. The ISPCA reportedly issued a statement welcoming the decision.
Hope it was nothing we said.