A former head of the Northern Ireland civil service told victims of the Troubles at the weekend of his "deep shame" that their suffering had yet to be acknowledged properly.
Sir Kenneth Bloomfield held a sometimes emotional meeting with victims from the Republic on Saturday as part of a British government process to examine how best to recognise their problems.
A woman whose husband was killed in the Dublin bombings of 1974 told him it was the first time anyone had listened to their story.
About 35 people, mainly relatives of the 33 killed in the Dublin and Monaghan bombings, met Sir Kenneth at the Glencree Centre for Reconciliation in Co Wicklow.
As the British government-appointed victims' commissioner, Sir Kenneth has spent the past six months hearing the stories of those affected by the 30 years of Troubles.
He will issue a report before the May referendums on the Belfast Agreement.
As a "career bureaucrat" for 40 years and a principal adviser to ministers, he said he realised he had not done enough to take victims' problems seriously. "We had so many other things on the agenda that we forgot about the victims, who in a sense were yesterday's news," he said.
His report would address the question of a monument to all those killed and injured in the Troubles, but he did not think a "war memorial" structure containing the names of the dead would be possible in the short term as some would object to the inclusion of particular names.
"A monument must arise out of the community and cannot be imposed on the community," he said. One possibility was a memorial garden in which victims from the Republic could be remembered with a stained-glass window or a sculpture.
He promised his report would give expression to the views of those present, many of whom bitterly criticised the governments' failure to find those responsible for the bombings in Dublin and Monaghan on the same day in 1974.
"We've got no assistance from anybody, from the Government or the media," said Mr Frank Massey from Sallynoggin, whose 21year-old daughter, Anna, died in the Dublin attack.
"I've seen 40 TDs, three ministers for justice, two party leaders, and all I run into are brick walls. I have lost hope with these people. It's leaving very bitter thoughts in my head personally that somebody somewhere is covering up," he added.
Mrs Martha O'Neill from Portland Court in Dublin disagreed with a speaker who suggested people from the Republic did not fully appreciate how much the people of the North had suffered. "We do understand. This is one island. I lost my husband [in the Dublin bombings] and my two boys were very badly injured. I do realise. It helped me to carry on, knowing I wasn't the only person to suffer on this island," she said.
She congratulated Sir Kenneth for taking time to meet them "because it's the first time we've been listened to".
Mrs O'Neill's son, Eddie, asked how there could be reconciliation "when the man who killed my father is walking around Portadown with a legally held pistol". Then aged almost five, Eddie was seriously injured in the Parnell Street blast which killed his father.
Mr Tim Grace from Drumcondra, whose wife Breda (34) was killed in the Dublin bombings, said guilty people were walking around "because the law was not enforced and is still not being enforced".
Mr Massey drew applause when he said there could not be reconciliation without repentance. "This business of peace and reconciliation is not going to happen unless you first have peace and repentance," he said.
Another issue addressed was the early release of prisoners. Mrs Mairead Bolger from Foxrock in Dublin criticised the Government for failing to inform her family that the man who killed her brother was to be released.
Her brother, Mr Eamon Ryan (31), was shot dead in front of his son during an INLA bank raid in Tramore, Co Waterford, in 1979. Newspaper reporters who called to the door told her family of the killer's release. "It's something that affected me greatly," she said.
Sir Kenneth, who became visibly emotional during the meeting, said he had never been personally affected by the Troubles to the same degree. "But I was affected to some extent. My home was blown up 10 years ago by a terrorist organisation. None of us was killed or injured but we lost our home.
"In a funny way I'm almost glad because it keeps me in touch with the trauma this is."
After the initial public forum Sir Kenneth, who was invited to hold the meeting by the Glencree centre, spent Saturday afternoon in private session with those who wished to discuss their experiences in more detail.
