The Tánaiste, Harney and the Greens stood by as Cowen launched his vision of a Smart Ireland, writes Miriam Lord
OH, GOD help us..
We didn't know yesterday whether we were looking at the top table or the bridge of the Titanic.
Here's that plan in a nutshell: we are where we are. We know where we want to be. And with the right vision, a fair wind, attic insulation and a few holy candles, we might get there eventually.
The waters are uncharted, choppy, strewn with massive icebergs, the engine is broken and the bilge pumps are worn out.
"I am clear where I want us to be," said Brian Cowen in Dublin Castle. (Out of trouble - and so say all of us.) "We are setting out a long-term, mid-term vision."
Such was his confidence in launching his Government's framework to bring back the good times, he waited until he couldn't be questioned in the Dáil about it. With his run of luck there'll be a new crisis to occupy the Opposition by the time the House reconvenes in 40 days' time.
Biffo has the full support of his Coalition partners. "We are focused on a clear vision of where we are going," said Eamon Ryan of the Greens. By the end of January, no less than 25,000 homes will be reinsulated. If you still have a home.
Mary Harney is on the case too. "We are refocusing our efforts," said the Minister for Health, even if "the tools may be somewhat different". This is no way to talk about her new Cabinet colleagues.
But wait. It gets better.
The Tánaiste is establishing an "Advisory Council of Business Leaders who will report regularly to her and the Cabinet committee on measures the Government can take to return the economy to a sustainable growth path in line with the vision in this framework". Maybe the business leaders can swap visions with An Bord Snip going forward.
And the ship of state continues to take in water.
Mary Coughlan never got a chance to tell us about her Government's idea of a rapid reaction advisory council. Or her Vision with a capital "V." Neither did Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan, who smiled his way contentedly through the launch.
Here's more aspiration and insulation from the junior coalition partner. There is to be a "high-level action group on Green Enterprise." Mr Ryan is going to return power to the people. "We are aiming to become the silicon valley of Europe," he promised.
On the subject of knockers, it was clear at yesterday's launch that the Taoiseach expects to receive some criticism of his new, retooled, rehashed, reheated plan for "Building Ireland's Smart Economy." It seems we just got lucky during the last decade. Now it's time to Get Smart.
Fine Gael's Richard Bruton reacted quickly. "You can't build a smart economy based on stupid decisions."
At least we have leadership. "If we have a clear vision of where we want to be after this period, it will guide our thinking and actions in the difficult period ahead," said the Taoiseach. This will require a great deal of leadership from all of us, he stressed, spreading the blame at the outset. This includes the social partners and "ordinary, decent people". For now that the country is in big trouble we are all "legitimate stakeholders in society". Soundings will be taken in the coming weeks to deal with the "new paradigm" which we are in. "By the end of January, we'll know precisely how to do that," said Brian, soothingly.
Many observers at yesterday's launch were of the opinion that the Taoiseach's Get Smart document is an airy-fairy confection of past pledges bundled together under new wrapping. The media response at the post-launch press conference bordered on the hostile side of unenthusiastic.
After Cowen finished his speech, there was silence at first, followed by a thin, rather embarrassing smattering of applause. It was lead balloon time.
Garret FitzGerald left early. The social partners looked somewhat bemused. Richard Bruton and Joan Burton hiked up their dudgeon to the highest notch.
No stone has been left unturned in the Government's drive to bring back the good times. Young Scientist winners will be linked with a third-level institution and/or firm to help them bring their idea to development, and the top three finalists will have lab space in universities in the summer. Maybe Fás could help out here.
The ideas just keep coming. "We will publish a new Knowledge Society Strategy." A man from The Banks stood at the back of the hall. He didn't seem too upset at the end of the show.
Neither did the president of
the IFA. But then he's already secured €180 million for the pig industry. Not bad going when you consider that the big thing in Biffo's Get Smart plan is a €500 million investment in an innovation fund.
But half of this finance will come from the private sector and the money is to be paid out over 10 years. If it can be found.
Don't forget, the primary aim of this document is to identify a pathway forward.
Meanwhile, the ship drifts on.
"I want to see success in Copenhagen next year!" trilled
Ryan, who appeared to mistake the launch for a Green Party rally, as everyone tried to remember if Denmark is in our group in the European championships. It isn't.
This document is a vision too far.
Should have gone to Specsavers.