One woman tells Kathryn Holmquist how her husband took their children away from her and brought them to his home country of Algeria. Now she feels powerless to get them back.
The day four of Jane's five children did not return home from an outing with their father to Funderland last Christmas, she panicked. The youngest of the four children was one year old, the eldest only eight.
Jane had felt nagging doubts about allowing her children to go on the outing, but a court had granted her husband access, and the children were eager to go to Funderland. When the children had not returned by 6 p.m., the agreed time, Jane rang her husband's mobile phone. There was no answer.
Late that night, she received a phonecall from him. She says he told her: "Your children are in Algeria. You will never see them again".
Jane's husband, an Algerian-born entrepreneur, became an Irish citizen thanks to an earlier marriage to an Irish woman. Having come to the Republic to make his fortune, he eventually became successful, returned to Algeria, and made an arranged marriage with local woman Jane (not her real name), whose parents thought she would have a good life in the Republic. Jane does not know what became of the first Irish wife, having only learned recently that her husband was married before. Under Sharia law, Islamic religious law, a man is allowed up to four wives.
Jane's husband, who became very wealthy - especially by Algerian standards - wanted several wives and, once he was married to Jane, he married a third time in Algeria, this time a 16-year-old Algerian girl. When Jane refused to allow him to bring the third bride to the Republic to live with her and the children, she says he began beating her.
"I could not allow my children to see this. It would damage their minds," says Jane. So she sought a barring order and received it. Sharia law would not allow husbands to treat their wives like this, she believed. But as soon as Jane took her stand, with the help of the Irish judicial system, her husband seems to have become determined to take his children back to Algeria. Jane never suspected his plans.
Last week, Jane's husband called her again, demanding that she send him the only child he had left behind, the fifth child, an infant. "He wants her to be 'sent'. She is not a toy to be sent," says Jane.
Nightmare isn't a strong enough word to describe what Jane has experienced since her children, who are Irish citizens, were taken. In a case that has received no publicity so far, Jane is hopeful she will see her children again although, judging by the outcome of similar cases, there is little hope of their return. Her only comfort is that the youngest remains with her. She keeps her doors locked and has an alarm system in her attempt to prevent the infant's abduction. Her Irish neighbours, she says, are supportive and she has received many encouraging phone calls from Muslim-Irish women, although few dared visit her.
A practising Muslim, Jane prays five times a day, pleading with God. The Koran, sitting on an elaborately inlaid book-stand at the fireplace of her finely furnished home, tells her that God is testing her, she says.
Weeping with the pain of loss, this young mother feels powerless to get her children back, even though they are Irish citizens who should be protected by European law, such as the Hague Convention. But her husband - who became a devout Muslim during their marriage - appears to have no regard for Irish law. His law is Sharia law, the religious law which governs all family relationships in the Islamic world.
The notion in Western democracies such as our own, of allowing secular, rather than religious, law to determine how people behave is foreign to many Muslims. In their view, the ideal way to live is to be able to practise one's religion - whatever that may be - regardless of any state interference. Sharia law is the ultimate law in Islamic states, and some Muslims living in Europe believe that they should be allowed to bring that authority with them wherever they live, regardless of local laws.
However, the Imam Al-hussein, religious leader of the Islamic Foundation of Ireland's Dublin Mosque in the South Circular Road, says Muslim fathers who abduct their children from the Republic or another Western state, are wrong in using their religion to justify their actions. While Sharia law is an all-encompassing religious law which covers every aspect of life, Muslims who choose to live in democracies, such as the Republic, must abide by State law, in his view.
In stating this view to The Irish Times, the Imam is sending out a strong message.
Mary Banotti MEP, who takes a special interest in the issue of parental child abduction, predicts a growing problem in the Republic's Muslim community.
But the Imam says incidents of one parent abducting the couple's children are rare in the Republic's Muslim community. Most Muslim fathers, he says, are delighted to have the mothers look after the children in cases of marriage breakdown.
But he also points out that when Muslim women living in Ireland want to return to their home countries with their children, Muslim husbands rarely object. Nor, he says, should Muslim women object when they want to stay in Ireland, while their husbands want to return to an Islamic country with the children.
Sharia law is fair to women and has a "simplicity" which makes for healthy family life, the Imam says. Women are regarded as the custodians of sons until the sons reach maturity - some time between the ages of seven and 11. Women are the custodians of daughters until the daughters' marriages are consummated. In practice, however, women almost always retain custody of their children in the event of family breakdown, says the Imam.
He stresses that Muslim couples should sort out child custody in a spirit of co-operation and mutual agreement, and says he does not approve of child abduction.
"There is a need for a public discussion on this issue," says Banotti, who has organised a European conference for the legal profession, Parental Responsibility and Access, to take place in Dublin on March 7th.
While Jane's case is one between two Muslims, there are other cases where Irish-born women have married Muslim men, only to see their children abducted and taken back to the husband's Islamic home country when the marriages have broken down.
"This issue should not be used as an excuse for racist sentiment. This is a cross-cultural conflict in which young girls are swept off their feet, and children are the ultimate victims. We are working on some form of co-operation between European and Islamic states, but progress is very, very slow. Very rarely do these children return to the European democracy in which they were born, but at least in a few cases we are managing access to the children for the non-custodial parent," she says. "This area is very delicate and highly dangerous and the police need to be aware of what they are dealing with. I have had several experiences where children's lives were most definitely at risk, particularly when they were found," she adds.
The Imam believes that when young Irish and Muslim people fall in love and marry, they do not see the potential consequences of their "mixed marriages", as he calls them. "You can tell them, but they will not listen," he says. Banotti agrees, stating that young Irish women do not understand the power of Sharia law.
All may be sweetness and light in the heady romance of a new relationship, but down the line, when the couple become parents, the Muslim parent may grow to feel more strongly about rearing his or her children in the Muslim religion. Or the Catholic parent may insist that a child makes its First Holy Communion and go to a Catholic school. The Muslim parent, usually the father, may feel justified in using this as an excuse to abduct his children and take them back to the Islamic world. Banotti says she does not know of a case where the mother brought her children back to an Islamic country.
While there are happy marriages between Muslims and Irish-born spouses, tensions between Irish secular law and Sharia law could be viewed as an accident waiting to happen. Under Sharia law, a Muslim parent must bring his or her children up as Muslims. There is no leniency.
While "mixed marriages" in the Republic often mean that girls are reared in the religion of the mother, while boys follow the religion of the father, there is no room for such compromise under Sharia law. While many Irish spouses of Muslims have willingly converted to Islam so they can rear their children as Muslims, others have not wanted to do this.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, the question of religion doesn't seem to come up until children arrive on the scene.
As long as there is harmony between the parents, the multicultural nature of the marriage is positive for the children.
But once conflict arises between the parents, the children become scapegoats to be bartered.
Like the Imam, Banotti believes many Irish young people, particularly women, are refusing to see the consequences of entering into marriages with Muslims until it is too late. A Corkwoman lost her son six years ago after her marriage to a Muslim, who was from Jordan, ended in acrimony. A member of her ex-husband's family arranged to meet her in a public park in London, where acid was thrown in her face by a perpetrator who was never caught. While she was in hospital, her son was taken away to the Middle East by her ex-husband. Banotti has spoken with the King and Princess of Jordan in an attempt to reunite the boy with his mother, but they say that they do not know where the child is. The child would now be 11 years old.
This week, Chris O'Sullivan, whose daughter Deirdre Crowley was abducted and murdered by her father, who then shot himself, told a court in Clonmel about her own trauma of losing her daughter. Her case was between two Irish-born parents, but it has certain parallels with Jane's situation. In both cases, the father appeared to want control of his offspring.
In both cases, the relationship had broken down. And in both cases, the mothers overcame nagging doubts in order to trust the fathers with access to their children.
As a result, both mothers have experienced the anguish of being deprived of the children they gave birth to and reared.
"What is he telling them?" Jane wonders, as she tries to guess how her husband is explaining her absence to her children.
Chris wondered the same thing during the 21 months when her daughter was missing. Chris never imagined that Deirdre's father would kill her, although at Deirdre's inquest, disturbing evidence came to light, including injuries received by Deirdre prior to her death. But the mental injuries are what prey on Chris's mind the most.
"People have to realise that child abduction is a form of child abuse," Chris asserts.
Jane does not fear her husband would harm their children, although she does fear for their emotional state. She at least knows that her children are alive. She has been allowed to speak to them once, very briefly, on the telephone. Jane assumes her children are being cared for by her husband's mother and his new, teenage wife. Jane herself cannot return to Algeria because she fears being perceived as the wrong-doer under Sharia law. Because her husband is wealthy, and she is not, Jane believes she would be foolish to return to Algeria to compete with her husband for custody of her children under Algerian law.
She will continue to pray five times a day. Her children will come home to Ireland, she says. "I cannot stop believing that."