Next Month's Problem
Our only daughter Marie is getting married to her boyfriend Jimmy in just over a year's time. They are both 23 and both working. They don't have any hope of a house yet but Jimmy has a flat with a low rent, which they say will do them fine for the time being.
The problem is that my husband Kevin wants a big lavish wedding for them and he is just determined that they have it.
Now I am all for a celebration - it's not that I'm a killjoy at all - but I cannot take in the fact that Kevin is thinking in terms of at least £20,000. This is way beyond our means and our lifestyle.
Already he has been working hours of overtime and looks very unwell as a result. He has the young couple's heads filled with nonsense and talk of morning suits and marquees and professional video companies. Jimmy and Marie have been sucked into this fantasy world, and are examining ludicrously expensive menus and deliberating between one champagne and another.
These are young people with no home of their own; we are a couple with still nine years to run on our mortgage and I am meant to go along with the notion a terrifying debt and be enthusiastic about hiring a Rolls Royce for Kevin to step out of with his daughter on his arm.
I try to tell him that quite simply we are not these kind of people and Kevin says `Ah, for heaven's sake Sheila, everyone has to have a dream and mine is that I give my daughter a wedding day to remember, can't you share that dream with me?'
Should I? Must I?"
What is your view? Please send your solutions next week to PO Box 6737, Dun Laoghaire. Your replies - and this monthly column - will next appear on Saturday, June 19th