"Travel broadens the mind," the saying goes. This is no doubt true, but travel can also bring its trials and tribulations. Holidays should be relaxing experiences. Unfortunately, they are not always so, for various reasons, a few of which I would like to share with you from my own personal peregrinations.
My wife and I - especially I - have a dread of queuing for long periods at airports. So for our recent holiday we got to the airport nearly three hours before our flight was due to take off. We were so early that we had to wait about 45 minutes for the relevant check-in desks to open and, when they did, we were at the top of the queue.
Our two young children were with us. It was their first time to fly, and we asked for window seats for them. Naturally enough, they were looking forward to being able to look out and see the ground receding below them as the plane rose into the air.
Window seats
Duly checked in, we went off to have an early morning cuppa and relax. Boarding time came and we took the seats by the window that we thought were ours. Imagine our dismay when we discovered that these seats were not ours, and that we had been allocated four of the centre seats!
Needless to remark, our children were very disappointed, and the early part of the flight was spent placating them. I needed some placating myself, I can tell you, when I thought of the moron - er - person who checked us in. All of the seats on the plane to choose from and he still managed to get it wrong.
Travel and holidaying do not always stir the imagination, I'm afraid. For instance, beside the apartment pool in Lanzarote one time, I could not but feel sympathy for the mild, middle-aged couple who had to listen to what could only be described as a crashing bore. "It's not polite to eavesdrop," I hear you say. True, but this stalker of the innocents spoke so loudly that one could not help overhearing his profundities.
He of the loudspeaker voice told his immediate listeners (they must have had greater patience than Job himself) all about his personal life. I won't go into all the details. Suffice it to report that he was accompanied on this holiday by his umpteenth partner. (The poor wretch, she must have been desperate for male company.)
Beef stroganoff
We - that is, about half the people around the pool - also heard about his preferences in food. He's partial to beef stroganoff, but a good steak is his absolute favourite, you will be delighted to know.
I learned much else about this fascinating individual, but I regret that I will have to deprive you of the opportunity for enlightenment, because I seem to have forgotten most of it. Oh yes, just one other thing about him. He spoke at length about his drinking habits. (He had been "done" for drunk driving on one occasion, he told all and sundry.) But I thought it interesting that the person who went off to buy drinks was the female partner of his pair of listeners. Clearly he felt he had earned this libation for sharing so much wisdom with them. Mind broadening? Mind numbing, more like.
Another of the less attractive aspects of travelling also struck me in Lanzarote. The attitude of some of those who worked in shops, bars and restaurants there was not what could be described as friendly. In fact, I was given the uncomfortable feeling at times that we, the paying customers, were a bit of a nuisance.
Common courtesies
All right, so it was near the end of a busy season, and they may have been tired. Also, I must confess that many of my fellow countrymen and women left a little to be desired when it came to the common courtesies of life.
If they could not rise to learning a few basic Spanish expressions such as Hola, Buenos Dias, or Gracias, they could at least exert themselves to use the English equivalents. But, that said, the stony, bored, indifferent expressions that one met in too many places would not make one long to return to the island, despite the clear blue skies and seas, the constant sunshine and the spectacular volcanic landscape.
Blue skies are always welcome, but when you have invested your hard-earned money in a holiday, you hope to be spared those other kind of blues.