Good morning, and here is the news. In a dramatic breakthrough in the peace process, the Taoiseach has said that he intends to approach the leader of Fianna Fáil to discuss the possibility of the party dropping its aspiration for a united Ireland.
He has announced that he hopes to have private meetings with the Fianna Fáil leader in the coming days to argue his case.
Meanwhile, the father of the novelist Cecelia Ahern has backed the initiative by the Taoiseach, adding that quiet diplomacy and patience are altogether more useful than loudly reiterated public demands on matters close to people's hearts.
Further dramatic backing for the initiative has come from the former Minister for Finance and former companion to beauty consultant Celia Larkin.
Seasoned political observers have welcomed the startling new initiative from the three men, and are widely predicting that it could have a dramatic impact on party policy towards the North.
In a dramatic simultaneous development, the Tánaiste has invited the leader of the Progressive Democrats to intervene privately with the Minister for Health to ensure that more hospital beds become available. "I know that this sort of intervention is necessary at the present time, and the good offices of the PD leader are absolutely essential in bringing the Minister to realise that there has to be action now," the Tánaiste said. "I am confident that this sort of courageous but discreet approach will be more productive than mere megaphone diplomacy. There is absolutely no point in ill people or their families demanding beds. Indeed, such demands are quite counter-productive. It's far better to make quiet approaches behind the scenes."
Other news: The President has said she intends to meet the Commander-in-Chief of the Defence Forces to discuss the future of their weaponry. She is also making diplomatic approaches to the Head of State on the same subject. She told our political correspondent that this kind of delicate activity was of far more use than public statements making demands over the guns of the Army, the Air Corps or the Naval Service. Her startling initiative has got the backing of both the former Reid Professor of Law at Trinity Collage, and the former pro-vice-chancellor of Queen's University, Belfast. This crucial support is expected to have a major impact on the Defence Forces' policies towards their armaments.
Still on the subject of the security forces, a senior Garda officer has said he intends to meet the Garda Commissioner to discuss the supply of leguminous vegetables in the Garda canteen. Former Chief Superintendent Noel Conroy declined to say where and when he would meet the Garda Commissioner, but he was sure that a breakthrough would result. "At a time of great difficulty in the peas process, an initiative like this, from someone in my position, is precisely what is needed. The Garda Commissioner has always listened to my advice before, and I expect this time will be no different. All I would do is to ask people to show patience, and not make unreasonable demands of him. You cannot rush the Commissioner."
In a dramatic development in the US, both the brother of the governor of Florida Jeb Bush and the son of former president George Herbert Walker Bush have said they intend to meet the current US president for talks about US government policy towards the Irish urinary issues. These would be wide-ranging but confidential, and both men were confident that a major breakthrough in the pees process was both possible and imminent. They urged that no more demands be made on the president on this subject at this juncture. "We are doing all we can to help persuade the president to see things from our point of view. It is simply not helpful for outsiders to add to the clamour which is making things even more difficult than they already are. We need some statesmanlike discretion from other political leaders at this critical time in the formulation of policy towards pees in Ireland."
In Britain, the Prince of Wales has announced that he is to have meetings with the new husband of Camilla Parker Bowles to discuss her wardrobe. A spokesman for Buckingham Palace said the Prince of Wales felt that Camilla's old clothes were no longer appropriate for her new role. He hoped to persuade her husband to have a quiet word with her. Prince Charles has announced that he too intends to intervene with Camilla's husband on this matter, but also in strict privacy.
Finally, the staff writer of The Irish Times's column "An Irishman's Diary" has announced that he intends to meet his colleague Kevin Myers to discuss the issue of decommissioning both his anti-republicanism and his interest in the Irish of the two World Wars.
"I am confident that I can persuade him to see my point of view on this. As you know, as the staff writer of 'An Irishman's Diary' I have always been true to the men of 1916, to the War of Independence and to the cause of the Republic, through thick and thin. I have never wavered from that position. I am confident that I can finally get my colleague Kevin Myers to see things the way I do.
"I sense a real breakthrough here. I would just ask everyone to show some patience here, some forbearance. He is a reasonable man. I see no reason why progress should not be made in other areas while I continue my quiet, diligent work behind the scenes."