A common complaint in Ireland at this time of year is the seasonal illness known as "All-Ireland fever". Symptoms may include cold sweats, shaking, yelping like a dog, involuntary spasms and oscillating extremes of elation and depression. This highly contagious disease has been known to reduce grown men and women to homicidal hysteria and can lead normally sane people to hand over a week's wages to unscrupulous touts without batting an eye, writes Amhlaoibh MacGiolla
In certain rural pockets of Ireland, however, a less known but equally deadly disease known as "All-Island fever" is spreading like wildfire this week. In fact, were you to travel to Arranmore Island in Donegal today, it would be advisable to bring an oxygen mask: the chances of infection are enormous.
The All-Island football tournament, as its name suggests, is an annual competition featuring men's and women's teams from Ireland's offshore islands. Teams from Bere Island in Cork, Inishbofin and the Aran Islands in Galway, Inishturk and Clare Island in Mayo and the host island, Arranmore, will compete for the coveted trophy over the coming weekend.
The football is a colourful affair, and highly competitive. The tournament is played on a different island each year, and is perhaps the most prominent event in the "island calendar".
Though the play is perhaps not of an All-Ireland standard, months of training and preparation precede the tournament. Moreover, given the small populations of most islands, all able-bodied men and women are called upon to do their patriotic duty - footballers may range in age from 14 to 45. For the footballers, it is also a gruelling weekend. The blitz format of the tournament means that teams can play up to five games over the course of two days, leaving limbs and muscles "stiff, sore and sorry", as one player put it.
The frenzied pursuit of the spherical leather object is, naturally, only one aspect of the weekend. As well as the competing teams, each island brings an enthusiastic band of travelling supporters who take the social side of the All-Island quite as seriously as the football. This is a rare opportunity to meet old friends, make new friends and strengthen the links between the islands. Islanders share an unspoken bond, a mindset and way of life that remains unique despite the rapid modernisation of island infrastructure and technology in the 21st century. This is a time to enjoy the good things in life. Satellite broadband, space-age ferries and sustainable development issues are forgotten about. Instead, music, singing, the telling of stories and the exchange of news and gossip hold sway.
Getting to the All-Island can be a serious undertaking, involving boat, road and sometimes air travel. Take Bere Island, for example: in order to get to this year's gathering, Bere teams and supporters will first take the ferry from their idyllic home in Bantry Bay to Castletownbere, then board a coach to make the 12-hour journey to Burtonport in Donegal, whereupon they will promptly board a ferry bound for Arranmore. Such dedication would make your average GAA aficionado blush with inadequacy.
For the host island, the tournament provides a welcome injection of trade, just when the tourist season is calming down. The mass influx of islanders is a timely boon for local hotels, B&Bs, shops, restaurants and - whisper it softly - hostelries. The host island has been known to sink a little lower into the ocean as the hundreds of islanders converge for the annual showdown - or perhaps that was the ocean levels rising due to global warming. Conversely, the mass movement also leaves the islands left behind feeling rather empty by comparison.
There are, of course, considerable logistical obstacles in hosting such an auspicious affair. Beds must be provided for all visitors, ferry times must be co-ordinated and a lavish buffet dinner is usually laid on by the host island on the opening night. The pitch will be ready, often bedecked with flags emblazoned with local and county colours. No island wants to look less than immaculate when being judged by its peers. As with all outdoor events on Ireland's Atlantic coast, the weather gods have considerable power to influence the weekend's proceedings. A clear sky and a dry pitch make footballing conditions infinitely more tolerable, while a starlit sky at night lends itself to the nocturnal improvement of inter-island diplomatic relations. A westerly gale, on the other hand, generally makes for erratic, low-scoring games, and heavy rain will transform even the driest pitch into a mudbath after 20 odd matches.
Come rain or shine, the All-Island is above all an occasion to celebrate what most islanders will tell you if only you ask: that their homes are special places, that islanders share the same spirit and outlook whatever their county, and that All-Island fever is highly contagious, highly damaging to your health and the most enjoyable disease you are likely to catch in your life.