The Kingdom of Kerry and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea - colloquially known as "North Korea" - have a good deal in common, writes Michael Parsons
Both are remote, mountainous, rainy fastnesses virtually closed off from the outside world; both pursue the ideology of "Juche" - a doctrine which promotes the concept of self-reliance; and both display great attachment to their ruling dynastic families.
One is ruled by the Kim family, the other by the rather more appealing Healy-Rae clan. Kerry's "Dear Leader", Jackie Healy-Rae, is the focus of a personality cult not unlike that surrounding Kim Jong-il. Both pursue five-year plans approved, in the case of Mr Healy-Rae, by the socialist great leader Ber-tie and in the other by the "father of the nation", the late Kim Il-Sung.
Both leaders have official websites containing details of their extraordinary lives and celebrated achievements. According to the biography supplied by his foreign ministry, Kim Jong-il was born in a log cabin at his father's guerilla base on North Korea's highest mountain, Mt Paektu, in February 1942. The event was marked by a double rainbow and a bright star in the sky. The Kerry version is just as dramatic: "With a mighty bawl, John Patrick Healy - later to be known universally as Jackie Healy-Rae - arrived into this world on 9 March 1931, the first of six children born to small farmers Danny and Mary Healy of Rae (Reacaisleach) in the southern foothills of Mangerton Mountain, three miles from the village of Kilgarvan".
Mr Jong-il is, we are told, a keen golfer, routinely shooting numerous holes-in-one during a round. He is also multi-talented - having reputedly written novels and composed no fewer than six operas. But his sporting and cultural prowess pales in comparison to Jackie's achievements: "Growing up in Kilgarvan, hurling, for which he would win two Kerry county championship medals, cycling and Gaelic football were his favourite sports. On long summer evenings in Kilgarvan, they hurled until dusk, changing to football when it became too dark to see the smaller hurling ball (sliotar). The echo of the clash of the ash and the crisp thud of a sliotar were clarion calls to young men who would rush to Kilgarvan sportsfield as soon as cows were milked and another day's work on the farm was done."
And, as regards music, the Communist "minstrel of the people's permanent revolution" is a mere journeyman compared with Kerry's Mozartian prodigy: "Jackie started playing music as a child with a melodeon which had been in the family home for many years. He played regularly at house dances in the area, a popular form of recreation in rural districts in those days, and later became a member of the Kilgarvan Dance Band, which played in halls around south Kerry. Though he never formally learned music, always playing by ear, he also played the saxophone." And, as if that weren't enough, he "loved dancing polka sets".
There are other resemblances. Both Kim Jong-il and Jackie Healy-Rae are routinely photographed wearing trademark cloth caps and both have sons vying to inherit power. Michael and Daniel Healy-Rae are already senior figures in The Party - called "Independent Fianna Fáil" - and are elected members of the Kingdom's county council.
Daniel, a dead-ringer for Kim Jong-il's son Kim Jong-chul, represents the electoral area of Killarney, and is known for his wisdom. In 2004, official media organs reported that he urged Kerry County Council officials "to look out the window" to find out what kind of a day it was before spending money on expensive weather-related advertisements. He had listened "for two months to advertisements on local radio against lighting picnic fires" and lost patience when he could "hardly see the road in front of me with rain". He then thundered with rage at officials: "Would ye ever look out the window to see what kind of a day it is before taking out these ads?" He added poignantly: "What oil Saddam and the whole of Iraq have wouldn't light a fire in Kerry in this weather."
But it is wunderkind Michael Healy-Rae, who sits on the council for the Killorglin area, who appears, like his counterpart Kim Jong-nam, to be the favourite to inherit his father's role and eventually take over from the "Dear Leader". Like his Da, he is rarely seen without a Leninist, black cloth cap and speaks out on crucial matters affecting the Kingdom.
He recently startled viewers of RTÉ's Up For The Match with the observation that Kerrrymen sometimes make incursions across the border into Co Cork "for women". Some observers believe these unfortunate girls are first sent to "re-education camps" and then to work on hillside farms before being pressed into arranged marriages with members of the Party cadre. There is a sinister parallel. In 1978, on the orders of Kim Jong-il, the South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choe Eun-hui were kidnapped in order to build a North Korean film industry.
The Kingdom's official broadcaster, "Radio Kerry - Your Voice in the Kingdom on 96-98FM" does not (yet) play a daily diet of songs like Long Life and Good Health to the Leader and We Sing of His Benevolent Love. But pity the listeners to Pyongyang Radio, who are subjected to endless renditions of the Song of General Kim Jong-il:
"All blossoms on this earth
Tell of his love, broad
and warm.
Blue East and West Seas sing
His exploits in their song.
He is the artist of great joy,
Glorifying the garden
of Juche.
Long live, long live,
General Kim Jong-il."