These deaths have already made a difference. The funerals of the small Quinn boys, the contrast between the wide grins in the family photograph and the little coffins, have been so heartbreaking that it is tempting to give way to anger and despair.
We have heard it so often before: that this tragedy will mark a turning point, will have an effect in softening hearts and minds. Yet in a few weeks or months how many people, outside the immediate family and community, will remember the names of the innocent victims?
But very many of the deaths that have occurred in Northern Ireland have had an effect spreading out beyond the immediate family. The poignant pleas that there should be no retaliation have helped to keep a sense of neighbourly charity alive. Looking back now, anyone who has covered the long tragedy knows that there have been atrocities which seemed at the time to push the whole region to the very edge of the abyss.
Then, often much later, it has transpired that these acts have helped to shift attitudes within each community, but particularly the group responsible for the crime. It's arguable that the Enniskillen Remembrance Day deaths and the Shankill bombing were at least as important in forcing the IRA to rethink its campaign of violence as the internal debates over the alternative unarmed strategy.
We cannot yet tell what the long-term effect of the murder of three innocent children in Ballymoney will have on the political future of Northern Ireland. But the crime has already precipitated a painful process of reassessment among many members of the Orange Order and the broader Protestant community as to where unionism stands now.
When these July days are over it will be important for the rest of us to remember that this self-examination has been led from the very heart of the Orange Order itself. The first and most powerful reassertion of Christian values came from the Rev William Bingham, chaplain to the Order in Armagh. Wearing his Orange collar, he spoke to his own congregation in the village of Pomeroy: "I believe wholeheartedly in the principles of Orangeism. I believe in civil and religious liberties for everyone. I believe in the right of Orangemen to walk. But I have to say this: that after last night's atrocious act, a 15-minute walk down the Garvaghy Road would be a very hollow victory, because it would be in the shadow of the coffins of three small boys who wouldn't even know what the Orange Order was about."
The sermon, so clearly spoken from the heart and conscience of a deeply troubled man, was a signal act of moral courage. Here was a chaplain who had been involved for several years in the recurring problem of Drumcree, chosen by the Orange Order as one of the delegation to present its case to Tony Blair. It must have been very painful to tell his own people, in the most pubic way, that it was time for the Orange Order to rethink its whole strategy over Drumcree and call off the protest.
It was inevitable that he was going to be attacked, denounced as a traitor by many who had held him in high regard and would now see him as having "deserted the men of Portadown in their hour of need". But - and hopefully he knows this now - he also struck a chord right across the broad community, forcing Protestants to look again at their own equivocal attitudes to the marching season, challenging Catholics to reassess their easy dismissal of Orangemen as rabid bigots. William Bingham's intervention would have been important even if few people had listened. Instead, like many such acts, his words gave a moral lead which set the tone for much of what has followed. Perhaps the main church leaders would have spoken out in much stronger terms after the tragedy of the little boys' deaths than they had managed for the previous week as the crisis mounted. But now there could be no equivocation.
One after the other, we saw the leaders of clerical and political opinion say what should have been said sooner: that this was a tragedy that had been waiting to happen, and that the only way for the Orange Order to distance itself from the murders would be to leave the hill at Drumcree.
David Trimble rose to the moment of crisis in confronting many of his former fellow marchers in the Orange Order. The manner of his doing so showed that he realised at last the importance of being a leader for both communities in Northern Ireland. The partnership which has been forged between himself and Seamus Mallon in the difficult days of Drumcree will stand both men in good stead as they face the political tasks ahead.
THERE have been other reasons for new hope in these sad days. Chief Constable Ronnie Flanagan's angry rejection of the attempted smear on the family at the heart of the tragedy has shamed all those who seek an excuse for "our side's" atrocities. Following that, the message from a group of senior chaplains in the Orange Order expressing support for Mr Bingham and "deep sorrow" to the Roman Catholic community was recognised by Archbishop Sean Brady as "a courageous and generous statement which hopefully will become a significant step on the road to building a new relationship". The reaction of the nationalist community, given the fear and suffering of recent days, has been restrained and generous. It is true that there have been inexcusable attacks on Protestant churches and Orange halls, but nothing like the retaliations one might have expected in the past.
These should all be seen as building blocks for a better future, sooner rather than later. For the moment the reaction is, quite understandably, to give a sigh of relief that we appear to have got through Drumcree, albeit at the terrible cost in the lives of innocent children. A week ago it seemed that the crisis might destabilise the Belfast Agreement and hopes for peace. There was little sign of any common strategy or - as important - any will to deal with it. Now John Taylor, who was speaking ominously last week of the days before the fall of the 1974 powersharing executive, is urging the Orange Order to talk to the residents of the Garvaghy Road "irrespective of who they include in their delegation".
There have been reports that the local Orange Order in Portadown is unwilling or unable to become involved in resumed talks, because of the pressure of other engagements. Jonathan Powell, Tony Blair's chief of staff, who brokered the earlier talks, should insist on their attendance as a matter of urgency.
The failure to resolve Drumcree has taken a terrible toll in the lives of innocent children. It would make some sense of those deaths if all sides were to meet and talk until they reach an agreement that next year will be different.