THE MAGPIE:The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.
In a council office notice, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish . . . Offenders will be severely punished."
The mayor said he was forced to take drastic action after an administrative court in the nearby town of Pau ruled in January that the acquisition of adjoining private land to extend the cemetery would not be justified.
Mayor Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday this week and is standing for election to a seventh term in forthcoming local elections, said: "It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me."
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A woman has been jailed in Malaysia for "teapot worshipping".
Kamariah Ali, a 57-year-old former teacher, was arrested in 2005 when the government of the Muslim majority country demolished a two storey-high sacred teapot of the Sky Kingdom cult.
For the sect, which emphasised ecumenical dialogue between religions, the teapot symbolised the purity of water and "love pouring from heaven". But in Malaysia, born Muslims such as Mrs Ali are forbidden from converting to other religions.
Mrs Ali has already been jailed once for apostasy, for 20 months in 1992. "This has to stop," her lawyer said this week. "They can't be sending her again and again to prison."
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Fresh from last week's "eat a chocolate bar and save the planet" news from Salem in Massachusetts, Magpie came across another "green" gem.
Eat a whale and save the planet, says a Norwegian pro-whaling lobby on foot of a study which, the whalers claim, shows that harpooning the giant mammals is less damaging to the climate than farming livestock.
The survey, focused on whale boats' fuel use, showed that a kilo (2.2lbs) of whale meat represented just 1.9kg (4.2lbs) of greenhouse gases against 15.8 for beef, 6.4 for pork and 4.6 for chicken.
"Basically it turns out that the best thing you can do for the planet is to eat whale meat compared to other types of meat," said Rune Froevik of the High North Alliance, which represents the interests of coastal communities in the Arctic.
"Greenhouse gas emissions caused by one meal of beef are the equivalent of eight meals of whale meat."
Greenpeace dismissed the survey, saying almost every kind of food was more climate friendly than meat.
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A US man is facing a jail term after he attacked another man with his anger management homework.
Justin Boudin (27) was on his way to an anger management class when he assaulted a 59-year-old woman at a bus stop. He hit her in the face after she took out a phone to call the police when he started shouting at her.
When a 63-year-old man tried to stop him, Boudin hit him with a blue folder, which fell on the ground, and ran off.
Police who investigated the assault, in St Paul, Minnesota, tracked him down through the folder which officers said included his anger management homework. Boudin has pleaded guilty and faces at least 120 days in jail.
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When it comes to animals, they do things different down under.
An Australian man had to be rescued after he got stuck 200ft up a tree while paragliding with his pet chihuahua.
Paul Hansen (42) became entangled in a giant mountain ash tree shortly after take-off near Melbourne. He was left dangling, with chihuahua Emma strapped to his chest, for five hours, according to the Melbourne Age. He had struggled to get a signal on his mobile phone and his radio was useless because of the remote location in the Yarra Ranges national park. Mr Hansen, who is fighting cancer, admitted he'd been worried and cold, but said he'd been more concerned about his beloved Emma.
"She knew that we were in danger, but she didn't panic or anything. She always flies with me. She loves it. I wouldn't take her if she didn't like it," he said.
He finally managed to send text messages to friends, giving his GPS position, and they alerted emergency services.
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And finally . . . something for the weekend.
If you are heading for Amsterdam, tomorrow sees the annual Stille Omgang, a silent street procession in which pilgrims commemorate the Miracle of the Host of 1345, a bizarrely-named occurrence which involved a dying man vomiting when being given the Holy Sacrament and last rites.
He was then thrown on a fire, but according to legend, survived - hence the need for a celebration of the miracle.