NEWTON'S OPTIC / Newton Emerson:Cervical cancer kills 80 women a year in Ireland, and the vaccine is known to prevent 75 per cent of cases. The projected annual cost of the programme was €9.7 million. That works out at €161,667 per life saved.
By choosing to save money instead, public spending in other areas can now be precisely benchmarked in terms of dead women.
For example, last year the Health and Safety Authority paid out €4,297,850 in staff pensions. This killed 27 women. But just think of all the lives that were saved.
The Office of the Minister for Finance has budgeted €360,000 next year for occupational injury claims by civil servants. This will kill two women. However, neither will die by tripping over a carpet at the Office of the Minister for Finance, so no doubt the State's duty will be fully discharged.
The Office of the President has budgeted €1.12 million next year for the centenarians' bounty. This will kill seven women. However, most people who live to be 100 are women, so it may well be fitting to celebrate their survival.
The Department of the Environment, Heritage and Local Government plans to spend €6,505,000 next year on "community and social inclusion". This will kill 40 women, but in an entirely inclusive way.
The Department of Health has set aside €7,656,000 next year for health promotion quangos. This will kill 47 women. However, none will die for lack of glossy leaflets on taking exercise and eating vegetables.
The Department of Justice, Equality and Law Reform seems particularly deadly to the female of the species. Next year it will give €1,596,000 to the Commission for the Victims of the Northern Ireland Conflict. This will kill 10 women, although not one will be a victim of the Northern Ireland conflict. The same department will spend €9,480,000 on legal aid for the Asylum Seekers Task Force. This will kill 59 women, although admittedly they should soon be replaced by successful asylum seekers.
The department will spend a further €1,581,000 on "equality monitoring consultative committees". This will kill 10 women, possibly requiring another committee to kill 10 men. The department will also spend €5,482,000 on "gender mainstreaming and positive action for women". This will kill 34 women, although they will all have laid down their lives for the advancement of the sisterhood.
The department will even give €558,000 in grants to "national women's organisations". This will kill three women. But dozens more will be paid to highlight the injustice, which is what really matters.
Responsibility for cancelling the vaccination programme rests with Minister for Health Mary Harney. Her four special advisers received €600,000 last year. This killed four women, or one per adviser. Ms Harney has since cut back to two advisers, so the associated death toll, excluding any impact from their advice, may fall accordingly.
Of course, this benchmarking exercise only goes so far. As the Minister has explained, vaccinating today will not start saving lives for roughly 25 years. By then, on present trends, every woman in Ireland will work in the public sector. That should finally swing the argument in their favour.