Newton's Optic:In lieu of his usual column, Newton Emersonoffers his latest piece from Burma's Sindochina Independent. This item is not available online
It is now clear that domestic reactionaries and their allies in the foreign press have failed in their bid to depose Gen Bankh Mi Chek, our Glorious Leader.
But this does not mean that the danger has passed. Frustrated opponents of the regime remain in positions of influence and they are not about to admit defeat and accept the will of the people. This conspiracy of so-called "intellectuals" tried to bring down our Glorious Leader purely to flatter their own self-importance.
For months they deliberately and maliciously spread all manner of treasonous questions about our Beloved General's tastefully redecorated Rangoon pagoda. Yet nobody is ever allowed to ask questions about this shadowy group of manipulative agitators, except here in the pages of the Sindochina Independent and on government radio and television.
Have these traitors no respect for our Beloved General's staggering achievements? Do they not care that he seized power after a legitimate election? Do they not realise that he brought peace with the rebel tribes in the North? Do they want orange-clad religious zealots marching in the streets?
Surely this matters more than who paid for our Beloved General's diamond-encrusted diving board? Sophisticated pragmatists understand that doubts over the diamond-encrusted diving board could cause an uprising in the North and perhaps even a coup by a rebel tribal leader, making it our patriotic duty to ask no further questions about this or any other matter.
Meanwhile, it is time to examine more closely those arrogant and decadent popinjays who naively insist that even a great leader is not entirely above the law.
Who is Vin Tan Tool of the Mandalay Times to judge our Beloved General, for example? He may well be an internationally- published author and historian with two decades of experience reporting political graft. But he also wears glasses. Clearly, he is a bourgeois class enemy!
Then there is Vin San Bwown, who is only bitter because his dull radio programme was replaced by the hugely popular Peasant's Hour.
They are supported by many foreign subversives on the world wide inter-Mail, which is well-known to be a weapon of our former colonial oppressors.
Finally, we have the so-called "investigative journalist" Fan Kong Lee of the seditious Centre for Provisional Inquiry. Mr Fan was the first person to mention our Beloved General's diamond-encrusted diving board, except for all the other people who mentioned it but are more difficult to discredit.
However, it is a known fact that Mr Fan also received a diamond-encrusted diving board from a mysterious benefactor! Furthermore, this benefactor was an American industrialist!
It may be true that Mr Fan declared the gift and was later seen falling off it. But here at The Sindochina Independent we firmly believe that two diamond-encrusted diving boards do not make a right, or two wrongs, or anything else which might imply that our Beloved General is no better than Fan Kong Lee.
We simply believe, as do all the plain people of Myanmar, that one diamond-encrusted diving board and a fairly competent economic record make a leader above all criticism. What could be more respectful of democracy than that?
• Newton Emerson was appointed to the Burmese senate five minutes ago