Sir, – Pól Ó Murchú (December 27th) should not feel that his friend was unfairly singled out. The jam and marmalade security people are ever vigilant in Stansted as well.
Belts, boots, underpants and now jam. Where, I ask will it all end? I had bought three taster mini-pots of marmalade (gross weight per container 117g – about two good spoonfuls) from one of the best victuallers in Piccadilly (I assume by the enormous Royal Warrant above the door HRH does her shopping there). the jars were still in their sealed packaging with the receipt of that morning. Confiscated – the lot. No ifs – no buts.
Being in no rush, I had a lively discussion about the physical properties of various fluids including jam, firstly with a junior jobsworth whose eyes glazed over when I mentioned density and then the senior jobsworth who knew all about density and in his view it was all irrelevant. He knew that the marmalade was perfectly safe. It was the container that was all wrong – 17g too wrong. But if this container was in the hold it transmuted into a non-hazardous container. A priori, did he think that I, a youthful grandfather of some years represented a security risk with my marmalade in the cabin? No – I could buy marmalade of an inferior quality in the airport duty free – in much bigger pots. So where was the risk? No risk – it's just the pots are the wrong size – and they are not in a plastic bag.
We know it is a nonsense but it all makes work for the working man to do – and I suppose we should be ever thankful, since the foiled underpants bomber two years ago, that we don’t now have to submit our Y-fronts separately for X-ray examination.
Incidentally, they didn’t get my marmalade – I took it outside security and dumped it in various bins. I hope all my fellow travellers felt much safer. – Yours, etc,