Madam, – With our esteemed leader Brian Cowen and the rest of the Dáil on holiday until the Christmas break perhaps we should offer the job to the German Oracle Octopus until the lads come back to work sometime in the New Year? This is no frivolous suggestion.
In all the World Cup match forecasts so far the octopus has made the right call while our shower couldn’t get a weather forecast right. Plus, we would finally have the country and the economy in safe hands – all four pairs of them. No matter what decisions the octopus makes, we can be certain they would be no worse for us than the decisions by the lads that have destroyed our economy and left us to pick up the tab now and for generations to come.
We can’t go wrong with this one – it’s a win/win situation and the only expenses likely to be claimed are the odd sea-urchin; travel is limited to the fish-tank and it’s only to last till the New Year when the lads turn up to claim their expenses. After that we can return the octopus to the sea before they eye it up for a nice polpo in the Dáil restaurant. And charge it to us. – Yours, etc,
