Sir, - Kathryn Holmquist's Father's Day article: "A man who doesn't share the housework is not a man" (June 19th), plumbed the depths of cynicism about Irish men and fatherhood. The first line set the appalling tone: "Boasting about your role as a new father has become as socially redeeming as a stint in rehab." The sneering only got worse. Proud new fathers like David Beckham and Ronan Keating who have publicly declared their love and commitment to their children are presented as cynical manipulators of their lovely babies who, complete with baby slings, are "one of this season's trendiest accessories". The trophy baby is allegedly born.
With aching predicability, she asks: "How committed are these fathers, really?" But she does not present a scrap of evidence to suggest that they are not. But, then, how could she, as she hasn't a clue what they actually do. While how active they are as fathers does of course matter to their partners and children, the really important thing is that these young men are beginning to fill a huge cultural vacuum by presenting positive new fatherhood role models for young men and women.
In researching the recent book Changing Fathers? Fatherhood and Family Life in Modern Ire- land (Collins Press - with Kieran McKeown and Dermot Rooney), even while starting out with low expectations I was surprised to discover just how completely absent Irish men's voices are from accounts of fatherhood and how little we really know about what they do in Irish families. This is not to deny that there is a problem here where men do not take their fair share of responsibility and that this is oppressive to women. And too often women have spoken because men do not, and men need to take responsibility for changing this.
Researchers are, however, increasingly sceptical of the averages presented in data like the Eurostat survey because it conceals the real increases in domestic participation that some individual men have made and provide no means for us to learn from how these men do it. The key question is how men's nurturing capacities and commitment can be developed. The new academic work on fatherhood has begun to argue for the importance of moving beyond a "deficit model" which rubbishes what men do and tries to force or shame men into doing more at home by emphasising what they have to give up and sacrifice (power, status, freedom), to an approach which recognises men's positive capacities to care for children through the life cycle.
The emphasis here is on what men gain from active fatherhood, which is seen as a personal development opportunity for them. Caring is good for us. This does not mean letting men off the hook by ignoring issues of fairness. Rather, it means trying to achieve domestic democracy by focusing also on men's development needs in a way that provides for what men need to become good fathers. - Yours, etc., Harry Ferguson,
Department of Applied Social Studies, University College, Cork.