Sir, - I see work has commenced on the Millennium spike. Dubliners can be heartened by the fact that unpopular monuments foisted on the city have not lasted.
An T≤stal (the Bowl of Light), 1953: Located on O'Connell bridge, this consisted of a large concrete box with tubular steel bars supporting a plastic "flame". Nicknamed "The Tomb of the Unknown Gurrier", it was destroyed by some civic-minded vandals who hurled most of it into the Liffey. The concrete box remained as a flower planter up until 1967, before it was bulldozed away.
Length of service: unvaldalised state, two weeks. As a plant box, 14 years.
Anna Livia, 1988: Better known as "The Floozie in the Jacuzzi", this giant litter magnet was meant to represent the River Liffey, but looked more like a disfigured Naomi Campbell squeezing into a racing car while cold water was poured on her head. It is due to be removed as part of the upgrading of O'Connell Street. Unfortunately it is not going to the breakers yard; instead, Dublin Corporation is looking for a new home for it. May I suggest Smurfit HQ?
Length of service: 13 years.
The Countdown 2000 Clock, 1996: Costing the price of a public library, this plastic fiasco was paid for by the National Lottery. It quickly lived up to its nickname, "The Chime in the Slime" when it became encased in algae and seaweed. It was removed for the Liffey Swim in late 1996, then quietly dumped.
Length of service: seven months.
The Millennium Spike: Arriving three years late, this meaningless knitting needle is costing the price of a hostel for the homeless. Because of its expense the Corporation will be less likely to admit its mistake, so it will probably last longer then the previous three "monuments" - but not by much, I hope. - Yours, etc.,
John Devlin, Erne Terrace, Baile ┴tha Cliath 2.