Madam, - During all the Christmas hoo-ha we were told that Ireland is close to the top of the world list for youth suicide. Authorities are applying themselves to the search for reasons and solutions. Any of us can put forward our own suggestions.
My 20, necessarily briefly, are as follows:
1. Most parents claim to be "mad about" their children. The word "mad" implies foolish, reckless, disorderly, confused. Schools do not adequately teach "relationships".
2. In dysfunctional homes parents simply do not know what to do about their own problems, not to speak of those of their children.
3. In affluent homes, everyone in the family has too much of the unnecessary and too little of the gentle, relaxed family togetherness. Children are over-indulged, under-loved.
4. In neither type of home is there consistent discipline. Adults are stressed, overworked and preoccupied. Priorities are often confused.
5. Parents no longer seem to know how to reward or punish appropriately.
6. Children with inadequate boundaries are confused as to what are true values.
7. Parents fear to be seen smacking children. Children kick and hit parents instead.
8. Having to do without anything is seen as intolerable failure; failure is misunderstood.
9. There is confusion between what is tragedy and what is mere inconvenience.
10 Alcohol and drugs fill emptiness and lack of esteem for self or others.
11. TV and media in general are the main educators in the majority of homes.
12. Teenagers' problems are seen as a "can of worms" better unopened because parents feel unable to cope with what might emerge. Such "cans" should be opened.
13. Pain is not seen as a normal part of human life, which it is.
14. Strident feminism is threatening, particularly to many boys and men.
15. Young people can feel that they have no-one in whom to confide heart-to-heart.
16. Religion, spiritual and moral values, often poorly taught, are sidelined, ignored, belittled (at our peril).
17. Hence young men, especially, cannot find any ultimate purpose in life.
18. Uncaring, bullying and violence follow where meaninglessness prevails.
19. Relationships with significant adults are often incoherent, unreliable and inconsistent.
20. It is worth remembering that "if you don't stand for something, you fall for anything". - Yours, etc.,
ANGELA MACNAMARA, Lower Kilmacud Road, Dublin 14.