Terminology for our times

Madam, - I think it is time to redefine some terms commonly in use in Ireland today for the purposes of clarity and, God forbid…

Madam, - I think it is time to redefine some terms commonly in use in Ireland today for the purposes of clarity and, God forbid, honesty. These terms are:

Political parties: People in business suits who look after the interests of business people in suits.

Dáil debates: Rehearsals for a play that will never open.

The News: Sports coverage and celebrity gossip occasionally interrupted by world events.

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The minimum wage: The amount below which it is illegal to pay but at which it is impossible to live. (They'd like to pay you less but it's against the law.)

Reality TV: The shortest amount of time it takes for the human finger to reach the off button.

The rich: A group of people who hate to be reminded that they have too much money.

The poor: A group of people who are constantly being reminded that they have too little. - Yours, etc.,

JOHN HANAMY,

Upper Rathmines Road,

Rathmines,

Dublin 6.