SHAGGY DOGSTOUCH WOOD: If we are hoping for something to happen, or perhaps not to happen, the worst thing we can do is talk about it, because that is challenging fate to give us the outcome we are hoping for, which is never a good idea, writes Albert Jack.
The traditional way to ensure a favourable outcome once we have mentioned it is to find a nearby piece of wood and touch it. For centuries, people have touched wood in the hope of ensuring good fortune, and it is now such a natural response we do not even know that we are doing it, let alone why. Sir Winston Churchill once said that he always made sure he was within reaching distance of a piece of wood wherever he went.
Many authorities believe the tradition is Christian in origin and that the wood in question is that of a crucifix or a rosary. Others think it stems from the children's game tag, and a participant is only safe when touching wood. There was also a children's game known as "touch-iron", so there may be some truth in the theory, but I'm not convinced.
A more plausible source for the term stems from the ancient beliefs of the Druids, who inhabited England before the Romans. They believed that all the good and protective spirits in the world lived inside trees. People in distress or in need of good fortune would make their way to the designated tree to touch and hug it in the hope of finding peace and/or prosperity.
To write like an angel means either to have stylish and elegant handwriting, or to be a gifted poet or writer of prose. It is a strange phrase, and while it is easy to see how a person may "sing", "fly" or even "sound" like an angel, how can we "write" like one?
The answer can be found way back in the 16th century with a Greek writer called Angelo Vergetgo, whose amazing calligraphy impressed the great and the good of the entire European continent.
Later, Francis I of France had a Greek fount cast that was modelled on Angelo's writing style.
Later still, in the latter part of the 19th century, a scholar named Henry Stephens was regarded as one of the most elegant calligraphers of his time, and when it was discovered he had learned his craft from studying the writing of Angelo himself, his own name also became synonymous with beautiful writing. It was recorded that he "wrote like Angelo", giving rise to the expression, which still holds today.
David Garrick, the English actor and founder of the famous Garrick Club in London, wrote a humorous epitaph in 1775: "Here lies poet Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll, who wrote like an angel, but talked like poor Poll."
You may find yourself in the doghouse if you are not careful, and that is no place to be, believe you me. The expression is traditionally applied to a husband, or male partner, who is unable to behave himself and is held in disgrace.
The source of this expression is found in JM Barrie's Peter Pan (1904) and the character Mr Darling, who is made to live in the dog kennel by his wife as a result of his behaviour towards "Nana". He is only allowed to return to the house when his children return from Neverland.
• Extracted from Shaggy Dogs and Black Sheepby Albert Jack; published by Penguin Books