OPINION:Sifting through sex survey statistics raises many fascinating contradictions, writes QUENTIN FOTTRELL
SURVEYS ARE a bit like sex without the emotional intimacy. They can be great fun, lack any emotional depth and throw up real zingers in the heat of the moment like this headline from last Friday's Irish Times: "Half of men feel sexual liberation is positive."
That's funny. Well, sure they do. But it also draws a big neon question mark over the other half who are either unsure or think it's negative, according to the survey of Irish men on various topics carried out by Behaviour Attitudes with The Irish Times.
That other half probably owes a debt to the Dr Seuss green eggs and ham theory. That is, you can't be 100 per cent sure unless you try it and those who felt the benefits of sexual liberation when it finally reached our shores are probably not complaining about it now.
Unless they didn't enjoy it, which they can't blame on the rest of society, or they did and they mourn their wild cat days and regard today's youth as skinny-jeaned degenerates. (Why else would 49 per cent also think single men have a better life than married men?)
So much of what we used to think of as sexual liberation is regarded as mundane and subsumed into daily life, such as contraception, sex education and helping to free single mothers, homosexuals et al from workhouses, prejudice and persecution.
One man's sexual liberation is another's Holy War. Some sections of society are obsessed with issues of personal morality and choice, and spend more time rallying against them than issues like drugs, which ravage entire families and communities.
By discussing sexual liberation, or sex, one runs the risk of being accused of being to sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis what Typhoid Mary was to that scourge. But I still wonder about the 50 per cent of men who don't think sexual liberation was positive.
For example, more than three-quarters of men feel it is a good idea for couples to live together before marriage. If you compare that statistic with the headline in last Friday's paper, some who disagree with sexual liberation must not have a problem with "living in sin".
Perhaps men become more conservative when they marry and have daughters. Plus, I wonder if men would be comfortable with a woman having three/four previous partners at 30 and three/four partners or more at 40, especially if that woman is now his wife.
Six in 10 of all Irish males feel young men are under a great deal of pressure to be sexually active at too young an age. I say, I agree. And I speak neither proudly nor ashamedly as among the last of my peer group to put a man's name on my dance card.
That's partly because mine was a more complicated rite of passage. I wasn't like the other kids! And this was pre-1993 when homosexuality was criminalised. But, I should add, heterosexuals in my university bed-hopped like the cast from a Carry Onfilm.
These days, gay culture is on the up, as members of the same sex are on an equal socio-sexual footing when it comes to negotiating relationships, but men and women are locked in a bloody war of wills on the dance floor. It's the gay/straight Sexual Devolution.
There are many single women in their mid/late 30s who want a child and can't afford to wait for adoption. They are in a race against time and men know it. It's their trump card. The Pill gave women their social/economic freedom, but it is a delicate balancing act.
Meanwhile, gay rights are slowly but surely gaining more traction. Younger men are more likely to have had same-sex experiences: 8 per cent of 18-34s versus 1 per cent of 55-plus, which clearly points to living in a more open, tolerant and progressive society.
On same-sex marriage: 37 per cent agree; 38 per cent do not. For those who don't think a man should marry one, here's a novel idea - don't marry one! I regard such opinions as prurient, but they were asked and, in time, it will be just another free seat at the reception. But nearly 25 years after the Pill became available without a prescription and 15 years after homosexuality was decriminalised, the number of those in favour of sexual freedom and personal responsibility, over a prescriptive approach, will only rise.
The survey has another non sequitur: men rated their girlfriends/wives as fourth most important out of 22 life aspects behind financial independence, being able to look after themselves and leisure time. You could say they rate their partners below their golf clubs.
Aside from ticking boxes to what are complicated, multifaceted questions, survey respondents may also contradict themselves to conform to perceived societal pressures by giving what they believe to be the "right" answer, or they simply make snap judgments.
Others may blame sexual freedom for many of society's problems. They may bristle at sleazy reality TV, the salacious edge to the advertising industry, and harbour an idealistic, sepia-tinted nostalgia for the past, dangerously regarding it as a far simpler, more elegant time.