MAGPIE:A MAN in Ayrshire, Scotland, has been fined by the police for blowing his nose while stuck in a traffic jam. Michael Mancini, 39, from Prestwick, said he was in standing traffic in Ayr town centre with the handbrake on when he used a tissue on his nose.
He claimed he was waved over by four police officers and given a fixed penalty for not being in proper control of his car. “I still had the tissue in my hand and was totally stunned when he said I was getting a fixed penalty notice for not being in control of my car,” said Mr Mancini.
The policeman involved was PC Stuart Gray, allegedly nicknamed “PC Shiny Buttons” for his zealous approach to the job. Last year, he issued a £50 fixed penalty for littering to a man who accidentally dropped a £10 note in the street.
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THE CURATORS at Jerusalem’s Ashdod Museum were dismayed last week when thieves, with what must be acknowledged as a lot of chutzpah, targeted a long- running exhibition and made off with several items, including a bronze spear, two gold earrings, some pottery, Hellenistic coins (recovered from earlier thefts) and a ring that once belonged to Alexander the Great.
The well-attended exhibition has been running successfully for four years. The name of the exhibition? Stolen Treasures – Antiquities Theft in Israel.
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THE HOLIDAY Inn hotel chain has been trying out human bed warmers at its outlets in London and Manchester.
The experiment involves staff who don electric blankets made like all-in-one jump suits and then hop into guests’ beds to warm them up.
“There’s plenty of scientific evidence to show that sleep starts at the beginning of the night when body temperature starts to drop,” according to Dr Chris Idzikowski, director of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre. “A warm bed – approximately 20 to 24 degrees – is a good way to start this process, whereas a cold bed would inhibit sleep.”
Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall (yes, really) said the bed-warming wheeze is “like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed”.
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PETER ROBINSON has taken the unusual step of asking people to stop sending him messages of support and sympathy over Iris Robinson.
In a public notice placed recently on his website, Peter Robinson’s “thank you” for the support is laced with what appear to be fairly heavily ironic words of appreciation for comments of which he seems not to approve.
“Many thanks to all of you who have offered me your support in my time of difficulty,” says the website notice, “especially the person who said my wife was a homophobic slut who needed a good slapping around, and the other who suggested that I turn to Jesus Christ as my saviour...”
Crikey! Not what one expects from the normally icy-cold, stiff Northern Ireland First Minister. But then this just happens to be Peter Robinson, author of 22 works of crime fiction including The Price of Love(2009), Piece of my Heart(2006) and Strange Affair(2005).
“I must stress that I AM NOT Peter Robinson the politician, Norther [sic] Ireland’s First Minister,” the notice goes on. “I would have thought InspectorBanks.com would be the first clue, as would even the most cursory glance at the site, but I guess people who send rude and insulting e-mails or push religion at the vulnerable were not, alas, at the front of the queue when the brains were handed out. Please, cease and desist!”
Oh dear.
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STAYING WITH Northern Ireland for the moment (well, God, it’s hard not to these days, no?), especially in case you missed the 2008 publication of a special Northern Ireland cookbook, An Assembly of Recipes, Magpie feels it timely to remind readers of the contribution of one particular Assembly member, You Know Who . . .
Her recipe? Chocolate Balls – which, in a letter to the publishers, she described as a “quickie” recipe and a “firm favourite” with her family.