Compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Onuoha interview: 'Sun' clouds issue with dodgy headline
Football 365 spotted an interview in the Sun last week with Nedum Onuoha who, in 2007, was the victim of racist abuse in Serbia when he was there playing with the England under-21 team.
An eloquent and impassioned interview it was too, with Onuoha talking about his experience that day and the general scourge of racism.
The headline on the piece? “NATION OF HATE – Serbs will never change, insists Onuoha.”
As Football 365 put it, “generalising about an entire group of people, based on the actions of a small number of these people . . . some may say society has a word for that”.
Lord Ouseley's notable feat: Gets 'Mandela' and 'John Terry' into the same sentence
"My grandson moves better on the pitch than Andy Carroll."
– Poland old-boy Zbigniew Boniek on eight-year-old Mateo, now the subject of a £35 million bid by Liverpool.
"The jolly green giants are coming to play against us tomorrow. Michael (Owen) is not allowed to play unless he brings a ladder. They are the biggest team in Europe."
– Alex Ferguson offering a big welcome to Stoke ahead of their trip to Old Trafford.
"With the benefit of hindsight my language was not an appropriate reaction to the situation."
– John Terry. 'Nuff said.
"This guy, I've no idea who he is."
– Liverpool's Luis Suarez on Fifa vice-president Jim Boyce who accused him of diving and the like.
"How can Manchester United's revenues be £320 million and Aston Villa, who are completely useless, get £250 million?"
– Glasgow Rangers chief executive Charles Green.
"Mr Green has sent an apology to Aston Villa saying there had been no intention to cause offence."
– A Rangers' club statement. Mind you, after the start to the season they've had, most Villa fans probably think Green was spot on.
"He is just so ignorant . . . he was belittling our team and me. What he said was not nice. He talked about where he is playing and how much he is earning. It was so childish."
– The Faroe Islands' Frodi Benjaminsen on his brush with the ever-pleasant Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
"If Nelson Mandela can emerge from all his years in prison and shake the hands of people who incarcerated him, we should welcome any help from John Terry."
– Anti-racism campaigner Lord Herman Ouseley, inviting the Chelsea man to involve himself in the 'Kick it Out' campaign, managing the impossible: putting 'John Terry and 'Nelson Mandela' in the same sentence.
Bonucci: Packs a real punch
Juventus defender Leonardo Bonucci. He was shopping for a Ferrari, like you do, in Turin with his wife and son last week when an armed robber appeared and demanded that he hand over his watch.
Did he? Not quite.
He punched the robber in the face and then began chasing him as he and his buddy drove away on a scooter.
"What are you doing? Are you mad? I'll shoot you," the robber howled at the displeased Juve man, but, happily, he resisted pulling the trigger.
From here on in, you'd imagine, opponents will be rather reluctant to go in to 50-50 tackles with Bonucci. They'd be wise.
You read it here first: Don't believe everything you read on the internet
As useful a service as it is, the internet encyclopedia Wikipedia can, on occasion, suffer a hiccup or two, largely caused by rascals editing entries so that they're less than entirely accurate.
There have been many fine examples of this over the years, although it will always be hard to beat the entry for the village of Denshaw in greater Manchester, which was described as "the home to an obese population of sun-starved, sheep-hurling yokels with a brothel for a pub and a lingering tapeworm infection".
This, as it proved, wasn't true and was, maybe, written by someone who had a bad experience in Denshaw one day.
Still, if you'd had blind faith in Wikipedia you could have ended up writing something along the lines of: "Manchester City have given a trial to 17-year-old John Smith, who hails from the village of Denshaw, home to an obese population of sun-starved, sheep-hurling yokels with a brothel for a pub and a lingering tapeworm infection."
It's best, then, to always double-check. A lesson a writer for the Asian Football Confederation website has now learnt.
In an article about the United Arab Emirates and their 2015 Asian Cup campaign, the writer referred to the team as "Sand Monkeys". No, seriously.
Some time later, the AFC issued a statement saying: "The error, which was mainly because of referral to a popular web-based encyclopedia by the concerned editor, was corrected immediately after it was noticed. The AFC would like to apologise for any hurt this might have caused to the UAE Football Association and UAE football fans."
Ouch: Dummy move
The gashed knee, which required hospital treatment, sustained by York City's Matty Blair. Sore thing.
How'd it happen? He collided with one of those dummy things they use in training to form walls for free-kick practice.
"He stumbled into it after tangling with Michael Potts and had to have stitches in his knee. I think he's the first footballer ever to be injured by a mannequin," said manager Gary Mills, sympathetically.
Top that: No holding back as El-Hadji Diouf goes on the attack
El-Hadji Diouf has given more than a few epic interviews in his time, but his latest, with L'Equipe, might be hard to top.
The former Sochaux, Rennes, Lens, Liverpool, Bolton, Sunderland, Blackburn Rovers, Rangers and Doncaster Rovers man, who now does his thing with Leeds United (and whose favourite tune, presumably, is 'I get around'), had, to put it quite mildly, a pop at Steven Gerrard: "What he said in his autobiography was nonsense. It's him who is self-obsessed. I carried Senegal to the 2002 World Cup quarter-finals, on my own.
"I was listed in the top 100 players in the world by Pele after that World Cup. He wasn't. He was jealous of me back then because I had the world at my feet."
Was he done? Eh . . . "I respect him as a footballer, but there is no greater egomaniac than him.
"He doesn't give a damn about anyone else. He would rather Liverpool lost and he scored. I have spoken with the old guys at Liverpool and nobody can stand him! And don't get me started on Jamie Carragher. . ." True, you should never say never, but it's possibly now unlikely that Diouf will return to Anfield in the January transfer window. Liverpool's loss, the fella would reckon.
"People have a go at me for partying. But I still play well. Others stay in and are rubbish. They should try drinking and partying and playing well . . . I make my mark wherever I go.
"Back in Senegal, I am a demi-god. People burned tyres simply because I wasn't picked for a play-off match against Ivory Coast.
"If El-Hadji Diouf takes Leeds up to the Premier League, he will become unforgettable in England."
He's being modest there: he's already unforgettable, that fella.
