Compiled by MARY HANNIGAN

Who's the boss: Hirings and firings see Australia and USA lose front-page battle

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE:SPARE A thought for the players of Australia and their coach Pim Verbeek.

Their 4-0 drubbing by Germany in their opening World Cup game made the front pages of most – maybe all – Australian papers, and the verdict wasn’t kind.

"Shockeroos" screamed the Herald Sun, while the Sydney Morning Heralddescribed the display as a "complete and utter disaster".

Granted, there was some praise for their performance in the 1-1 draw with Ghana, but nobody, it seemed, anticipated the team actually winning a game, never mind coming close-ish to qualifying for the second round.

So, what had the front pages to say yesterday after their lion-hearted victory over Serbia? "Historic Day For Australia!" declared the Herald Sun, over a photo of "The Boss". But the Boss wasn't Verbeek, it was Julia Gillard, whose timing in becoming her nation's first female Prime Minister was, frankly, appalling – Pim and the boys' finest hour was a mere news afterthought.

Real (but less important) life also resulted in the United States team having to share the spotlight, despite their heroics in topping their World Cup group.

Inexplicably, most of the American press, including the New York Postand Daily News, reckoned the sacking of General Stanley McChrystal by President "Bam" Obama was an equally significant development.

Talk of skewed priorities.

Stars and gripes: Less than enthusiastic US fans should really get their facts straight

STARS IN STRIPES:SO, HAS all of the United States now fallen hopelessly in love with football? Well, not quite. If you popped in to the Fox News website after the team qualified for the second round by beating Algeria you'd have found some folk who were less than enthused.

One chap who posted a comment argued the team didn't deserve support because most of the players are "mercenaries", who were "conveniently provided with fast citizenship in order for them to able to play and call themselves Americans". It's a view that is, evidently, shared by many of his fellow Fox viewers.

"Check every player's name and the time they have been in the US." he said. "It is well known fact, although not well published, that some of those players refuse to put their hands on their chests while the national anthem is played before the start of every game. I wonder why?".

"One must wait five years of legal residency before applying for citizenship, but some of those players are made instant legal residents – go figure! Americans will have to wait at least hundred more years with real national players before they become competitive with the rest of the world".

Facts, of course, can be a curse when you're pushing these kind of theories: 21 of the 23-man squad were, to quote Bruce, born in the USA. The other two are Benny Feilhaber (born in Brazil, moved to the US when he was six) and Stuart Holden (Scottish born, moved to the US when he was 10). Aside from that, it was fair and balanced comment.

(Of course, unless the fella with the theory is a Native American he's of immigrant stock too. Don't tell him though, he'll pass out).

Do you remember . . . Pierre Issa

WOE ISSA HE:THE SOUTH African defender popped up recently in the Guardian'srather wonderful Knowledge section, the now 34-year-old earning the award for the player who had the most error-strewn World Cup. Ever.

South Africa made their World Cup finals debut in France in 1998, but while it might have been a memorable time for the nation, it was one Issa probably tries to forget. He was "credited" with becoming the first player to score two World Cup own goals in one game, in the 3-0 defeat to the hosts, although he's unlikely to dispute Thierry Henry's claim to the second.

He also missed his side's only clear chance in the game, before completing his misery by conceding two penalties to Saudi Arabia in the final group tie.

Issa's club career took him from USL Dunkerque to Olympique Marseille to a loan spell with Chelsea (during which he played not a game), on to Watford, Olympic Beirut, Ionikos in Greece and, finally, OFI Crete.

His spell in England is best remembered for the time he dislocated his shoulder playing for Watford, the stretcher-bearers slipping and dropping him to the ground. That's a lot of pain to endure in one sporting lifetime.

Name and shame: Italian press less than pleased with Azzurri over their early exit

HOME WHERE THE HURT IS FOR DEJECTED ITALY:AFTER YESTERDAY'S defeat to Slovakia and an early exit from the World Cup Italian coach Marcello Lippi spoke of his players' inability to cope with the pressure of the game, noting the "terror in their legs, their heads and their hearts". Gazzetta dello Sport, by the sounds of it, can't wait to get hold of their legs, heads and hearts: "HOME IN SHAME" read the headline on their website in the immediate aftermath of the game.

Sacre bleu: Tete-a-tete

HENRY MEETS SARKOZY:PRESIDENT NICOLAS Sarkozy held a face-to-face meeting with Thierry Henry yesterday after Les Bleus' exit from the World Cup turned into a national issue the government has vowed to address.

Sarkozy called on Wednesday for a wholesale review of French soccer after chairing a government meeting and Sports Minister Roselyne Bachelot said yesterday "the resignation of French Federation chairman, Jean-Pierre Escalettes was unavoidable".

Following France's embarrassing exit from South Africa and return home, Henry went straight to the Elysee Palace in an official car escorted by the police after the team landed at Paris Le Bourget business airport.

Beet that: add on vuvuzelas

BEETHOVEN:SO, THERE we were yesterday listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonataon YouTube, just for a little soothing break from the cacophony of World Cup sounds. Then we spotted a little football symbol on the video's controls, so, naturally enough, we clicked it. And what did we get? Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata blended with . . .vuvuzelas. Yes, YouTube is getting in to the spirit of World Cup things, this feature is now available on all its videos.

Laugh or cry? Both, probably.