A soccer miscellany compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Cantona’s novel banking plan: Run with your money
IF, on December 7th, there’s a monster run on the French banks then one of those who can be blamed/credited is none other than Eric Cantona. A video interview he gave last month to a French newspaper, in which he urged people to bring down the banks by withdrawing all their money, is now a YouTube hit and has kick-started a campaign – “StopBanque” – that has named December 7th (our budget day, as luck would have it) as the day for a coordinated withdrawal of loot from banks.
“We don’t pick up weapons to kill people to start the revolution,” said Eric. “The system is built on the power of the banks. So it must be destroyed through the banks. This means three million people with their placards on the streets, they go to the bank and withdraw their money and the banks collapse. A real revolution. No weapons, no blood, or anything like that.”
In response, Valerie Ohannesian of the French Banking Federation, suggested that Cantona is a few sardines short of a happy seagull.
“Stupid in every sense,” she said. “My first reaction is to laugh. It is totally idiotic. If Mr Cantona wants to take his money out of the bank I imagine that he’ll need quite a few suitcases.”
Rancour in Romania: Duo’s debate gets out of hand as presenter sees funny side
MARIAN Iancu, president of Romanian club FC Timisoara, isn’t best pleased by the decision of his country’s league to reduce the suspension it originally imposed on Universitatea Craiova manager Victor Piturca after the pair’s rather lively television debate earlier this month.
Iancu, who says he was showered with “abuse, uncivilised words, racism and xenophobia” during the exchange on GSP TV, is now threatening to take the case to Fifa and Uefa after Piturca had his four-match suspension reduced to one.
Alas, this being before the watershed, we can’t share the bulk of what was actually said, but Romanian newspaper Libertatea’s description of the chat – “a slum-like dialogue with racial and sexual insults” – will give you a rough idea of its content.
The only repeatable bits, really, are Piturca’s assertion that Iancu was “a bloated 300 pound . . . gypsy” who lay in bed eating “50 pies and 25 sandwiches”. And that he was an illiterate peasant.
Romania’s Broadcasting Council has fined GSP TV for not cutting off the, eh, discussion when it was clear it was heading for the sewer, and also expressed some alarm at the fact the presenter could be heard chuckling heartily.
Iancu, then, is taking his complaint to a higher footballing court, claiming that the Romanian League was protecting “a character who has insulted and discriminated against me”. And in fairness to the fella, he knows a bit about insults and discrimination. “A homosexual Satanist”, was, after all, how he addressed Piturca during the chat.
“I’m convinced you’re gay! But we know that in Europe it is a virtue to be homosexual!”
Looks like that Uefa RESPECT campaign is going well.
Tevez points finger at young guns Show me your medals
“The young players think they have won something in football because they have two cell phones and a house. They have no education at all and I don’t want to listen to them. I don’t want a young player to ask me ‘why did you do that?’ in the dressingroom. I would punch them because I have won 13 titles in my career.”
– Carlos Tevez on young people having no respect for their elders.
“I know everybody is probably laughing at us, but we will battle on.”
– Madron club secretary Alan Davenport after his Cornish team lost a league match 55-0.
“Manchester City wanted James Milner so they sent Stephen Ireland to Villa as a lightweight.”
– QPR manager and newspaper columnist Neil Warnock. He’s lots of things Neil, but he’s no makeweight.
“Going to Turkey is just horrible. The stadium was like a Turkish kebab shop.”
– David May on how trips to clubs like Galatasaray broadened his mind.
Planning application: Looking to get into hot water
ACCORDING to the Sun, Manchester City's Italian striker Mario Balotelli applied for permission to build a balcony on the side of his €2.5 million penthouse in the city to house a €6,000 neon-lit hot tub. Hey, which one of us hasn't? Sadly, the application was rejected, but not because the council feared a starkers Mario would be visible to his neighbours, rather that the balcony would have altered the structure of the building. Players have slapped in transfer requests for less.
Pundit of the week"Every single player on the pitch is now in the Birmingham box! Apart from two of them."
– Sky Sport’s Paul Merson, need it be said?
Redknapp rap: Van der Vaart reveals the secret of ’Arry’s success
“It is better to have donkeys who run rather than thoroughbred horses who stand still.”
– Genoa president Enrico Preziosi looking for a little more movement from struggling summer signing Miguel Veloso.
“I’ll piss on their a***-crack.”
– Montpellier president Louis Nicollin on what he intends doing to those who suggest his team’s success this season is an indication of the weakness of the French league.
“Harry is a very special man. There are no long and boring speeches about tactics, like I was used to at Real Madrid. There is a clipboard in our dressingroom but Harry doesn’t write anything on it. It’s very relaxed.”
– Rafael van der Vaart on ’Arry “off the cuff” Redknapp.
“Instead of speaking about Real Madrid he should explain to Arsenal supporters how he can’t win one single little trophy since 2005.”
– Jose Mourinho v Arsene Wenger, part 8,622.
“But how? Has he lost again? It’s incredible. They are already nine points behind.”
– Jose Mourinho v Rafa Benitez, part 9,378 (on hearing Inter Milan had lost to Chievo).
“Everybody has great words for the Premier League, but it is a myth. The Premier League is crap, it is nothing. In truth the level is shocking.”
– Zeljko Petrovic, fired as West Ham’s assistant manager last week, bids a fond adieu to English football.
“No, I do not regret what happened. Normally I keep calm, but I’m a little tired. This week I had to travel a lot.”
– Ajax’s Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez putting his decision to bite the shoulder of PSV’s Ibrahim Afellay down to jet lag. Fair enough.
