A couple of weeks ago, during a news conference, AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi told a joke about a recent meeting with a dedicated AC Milan fan and his dog, Rossonero, so named after the Milan team colours of red (rosso) and black (nero).
The dog, it seems, has so completely taken to heart the ups and downs of his master's favourite soccer team that on a Monday morning, after a Milan defeat, he cowers under the kitchen table.
All very well no doubt, observed Berlusconi to the fan, but what does the dog do when Milan win? "Ah, I don't know yet. I've only had the dog for a year."
The moral of the tale is obvious enough. The last 12 months have yielded little joy for Milan fans. Once arguably the strongest club side not only in Italy but the world, Milan have hit some spectacular lows, including a 2-1 Champions League defeat by Norwegian side Rosenborg and a 6-1 league drubbing by Juventus. Last Sunday, they sank even lower when losing 2-1 at home to bottom of table Lecce.
The man at the centre of the Milan storm is prodigal son and former coach Fabio Capello, who was recalled from Spain on the personal request of Berlusconi. With Real Madrid his authoritive "hard man" ways won him a league title but had also alienated both the Real players and influential club figures.
Capello, winner of four league titles in five seasons (1991-96) with Milan before leaving the club at the end of the 1996 season, had been expected to set things right. His "treatment" was a radical shakedown.
One way tickets were offered to Stefano Eranio (Derby County), Francesco Coco (Vicenza), Dutchman Michael Reiziger (Barecelona), Massimo Ambrosini (Vicenza), Roberto Baggio (Bologna), Swede Jesper Blomqvist (Parma), Frenchman Christophe Dugarry (Barcelona) and Marco Simone (Paris St Germain). Furthermore, Milan lost arguably their most important player of all when 37-year-old club captain Franco Baresi retired. In place of the above, a veritable flood of seemingly sensational talent was introduced - Dutchmen Patrick Kluivert (Ajax) and Winston Bogarde (Ajax), Brazilian Andre Cruz (Napoli), German Christian Ziege (Bayern Munich), Brazilian Leonardo (Paris St Germain), Swede Andreas Andersson (IFK Gothenburg), Frenchman Ibrahim Ba (Bordeaux), Giampiero Maini (Vicenza), defender Giuseppe Cardone (Bologna) and a new goalkeeper in Massimo Taibi (Piacenza).
The result is that, six days into the new season, AC Milan are struggling at the wrong end of the Serie A table, with only five points and only five sides (Napoli, Bologna, Bari, Lecce and Piacenza) are below them.
Newly promoted Lecce had taken to the San Siro pitch last Sunday with the unenviable Serie A record of played five, lost five. Yet, within three minutes, their relatively unknown Serb midfielder Dejan Govedarica had opened the scoring.
Within six minutes, the other Dejan, namely Savicevic in the red and black Milan shirt, was sent off for a petulant kick at Lecce defender Stefano Casale. By half-time, Lecce were 2-0 up and that despite missing a penalty. Milan were in crisis and nothing that happened in the next 45 minutes, including a fortuitous own goal from Lecce's French defender Pierre Cyprien, could reverse their decline. As the sides walked off the disastrous San Siro pitch (returfed for the umpteenth time since 1990 last summer, and already due to be dug up this week and returfed once again), the Lecce players must have reckoned that Christmas had come early.
As Capello walked off, he directed some unparliamentary remarks at referee Massimo De Santis. The latter, a prison guard when he is not blowing the referee's whistle, wisely paid little attention. Knowing Capello, we can only guess at the level of anger directed at his players in the dressing room.
What has gone wrong? It seems that some of Milan's highly paid new arrivals have failed to establish a working relationship with existing team members - on or off the pitch. It is also true that acting president Adriano Galliani has gone beyond his brief in buying far and wide and in agreeing to sell players who have subsequently performed well with their new clubs (e.g. Baggio, Blomqvist, Eranio and Simone).
The current state of confusion in Milan's strategy is illustrated by the fact that two weeks ago the club bought back 34-year-old Roberto Donadoni from the North American side New York Metro Stars, while by mid-December the Dutchmen Edgar Davids and Winston Bogarde will have been sold on to Barcelona, where their former coach at Ajax, Dutchman Luis Van Gaal, awaits them with open arms.
All of this may be true but, with only six games played, all is not lost. The current Milan line up including established players such as Savicevic, Liberian George Weah, Croat Zvonimir Boban, Frenchman Marcel Desailly, Brazilian Andre Cruz and Demetrio Albertini lacks neither class nor experience.
Capello's second coming at Milan was always going to prove more difficult than his first takeover in 1991 when he inherited an almost unchanged side from Arrigo Sacchi. As of now, he needs time to assimilate and/or reject his talented multinational cast.
It is ass-kicking time at Milan. The results may be there for all to see later in the season. Maybe that Milanese dog will get to wag his tail some Monday mornings between now and next May.
