This column prides itself on an enviable reputation for holding its hands up on the rare occasions it gets things wrong. So we start with an apology. Seven days ago, in the course of an alternative 12-point plan for the future of Irish League football, the impression may have been given that the local game was in some disarray.
Following the chaotic scenes at last Saturday's game between Glentoran and Linfield (referred to rather quaintly here as "the meeting of Belfast's Big Two") it is patently clear that the public were totally misled last week - the whole sorry shambles is actually much, much worse than it was painted.
Even leaving aside the sustained abuse heaped from the terraces on Tim McCann, Glentoran's new signing from Cliftonville, there was also the small matter of the repeated assaults alleged by Linfield manager David Jeffrey on him and on his backroom staff. In the course of the 90 minutes of last Saturday's game, Jeffrey claimed he was spat on and had lit cigarettes and other missiles fired at him.
This was all then topped by a Glentoran supporter who evaded the stewards to get up on the Linfield dug-out from where he could attempt to throw a punch at the Linfield manager. Clearly this hurls our ambitious plans into turmoil so, for now at least, the project has been shelved.
However, such was the interest in the Irish League blueprint that other sports here have expressed a strong interest in something similar. But hockey and tenpin bowling will have to join the back of the queue because here, once again in no particular order, is the Out of the North 13-point plan for the way forward for the GAA in Ulster.
1. Given the lack of interest in the association's affairs in some quarters of the media, it is proposed that Ulster sides should in future sneak down to Croke Park for big games under the cover of darkness. And when they return, again as anonymously as possible, they should refuse point blank to tell anyone the result. Given that the All-Ireland winning minor footballers of Tyrone could not even make the short list for "Team of the Year" at Monday night's Belfast Telegraph sports awards, it is questionable whether anyone would notice the difference.
2. Perhaps those progressive but misguided agents for change will now recognise the error of their ways and revert to the uncomplicated old era of complete mistrust and antipathy for all the media. We are all nostalgic for the good old days when organised press nights were only a twinkle in the county PRO's eye and when team news was controlled with Stalinist fervour.
3. On the basis that Ulster counties won only one All Star out of the 30 on offer last Friday, it seems clear that this is another awards scheme that is not really going our way. The establishment of a rival, exclusively Ulster All Stars scheme would remove this terrible discrimination once and for all.
4. Concern is also being raised about the accessibility of Clones, the principal GAA venue in the province. It has now become clear that the four-hour delays on the road back towards Monaghan are short-changing those county supporters who want to feel like they have had a good day (and night) out. The possibility of staging some big games in genuinely remote places like Malin Head should be explored.
5. Everyone agrees that playing standards here in Ulster are slipping alarmingly. This can only be because our top players - those committed to Sigerson Cup teams, successful club sides, Ulster's Railway Cup 15 and then the full county set-ups - are not getting enough games. This cannot be allowed to continue. Sort it out.
6. The lamentable "fashion" for parachuting inter-county managers in from outside has not worked. This regrettable practice should be abandoned immediately because only local men can truly understand the petty little tribal jealousies that tear Ulster counties apart on a regular basis.
7. Antrim's footballers have fallen so far behind the rest of the province that they should be given a five-points start when they line out against Down in next year's championship. The other option is that their senior side should be allowed to enter the minor championship.
8. The Ulster club championship has been a great success, but the simple fact is that Crossmaglen have been too dominant and too successful. No one else is getting a chance. They should now be barred from entering next year's competition and their all-conquering manager, Joe Kernan, should be put in charge of Antrim.
9. The row about playing a charity soccer match in aid of the Omagh Bomb fund on GAA-controlled ground has dragged on for long enough. But there is now a solution. The game involving players from Manchester United, Liverpool, Celtic and Rangers should now go ahead but under the new "Compromise Rules". Just imagine the mouth-watering prospect of Henrik Larsson playing top of the right with Dwight Yorke in the other corner. Who needs Mickey Linden?
10. In the unlikely event of an Ulster county winning another All-Ireland football semi-final in the near future, Down should be then nominated to replace them in the final that follows. Down just don't lose All-Ireland finals and we badly need another Sam Maguire.
11. The hurling counties of Ulster have suffered for too long against their more illustrious southern cousins. In the future, therefore, it is suggested that Offaly, Clare, Galway et al should start games against Antrim and Down with just three forwards. This should produce more even contests.
12. On the subject of depleted teams, it should be Ulster Council policy that when Tyrone play Derry in the football championship they should do so with 13 men for all of the second half. This makes occasions like that epic day in Clones in 1995 all the more enjoyable.
13. There is not actually a 13th point in this plan, but the GAA would never tolerate a situation where it could be accused of importing a good idea from the "foreign" code. The GAA stands alone and always has.
