The stupid Dub out of the big smoke for the day had known best, of course. Now, here I was in a place called Coolgreaney, with a road map that was about as useful as an electric hairdryer in an igloo on the passenger's seat beside me, and the sound of the car engine humming away as a gentle reminder that I should be somewhere else on the other side of the Wicklow Gap South - the miniature version - in a few minutes time.
I knew before the question was out of my mouth that the farmer on the tractor would look at me as if I had two heads. "How do I get to Coollattin?" The look on his face told me that he was really thinking, "I wouldn't start from here," but, explaining that I could be looking forever if I took the mountain route, he was too polite to do anything other than give me the kind of straight-forward directions that any old eejit could follow.
It doesn't matter what byroad, low-road or highroad you must take to find Coollattin Golf Club - just get there. For this is a wondrous place. From the moment you swing through the gateway into the estate formerly owned by the Fitzwilliam family (who have associations with the Wentworth Club in England), you'll be aware that you have ventured into a golfing facility that has few peers in terms of natural beauty.
Magnificent trees - there are over 60 different species - adorn the course which has recently been extended to a full 18-holes and, apart from the sylvan setting, there is an abundance of flowers, azaleas et al, which Peter McEvoy, who designed the new nine holes, remarked "are more at home here than they are at Augusta."
Coollattin has come of age with the arrival of the new nine holes, but it retains a relaxed feel that belongs to a bygone age. The welcome is warm and genuine, something being discovered to an ever-increasing extent by visiting societies who are availing of green fees - £15 midweek, £20 weekends - which seem rediculously low for the product on offer. Indeed, it is a tribute to the designers and the club members, who insisted on certain conditions, that the old and new have blended together quite seamlessly.
The course is meticulously maintained, and the story of the old days related by club captain Michael Byrne tells how things have changed. "The rough was so bad," he said, "that immediately after someone played his tee-shot he would have to go in search of the ball without waiting for his partner to play." That tale of knee-high rough goes back to the 1960s when the members themselves had to maintain the course without the necessary equipment.
That's all in the past. Today, Coollattin has developed into a lovely course which owes much to the bravery of its members who decided to purchase the land and, later, at auction in 1995, the stately Coollattin House.
Planning permission for the new nine holes was sought in early 1996 and eventually granted subject to conditions that the Red Oak tree adjacent to the 11th tee-box and the Himalayan Spruce on the 16th fairway be preserved, and course architect McEvoy was asked to confirm in writing that the new holes would complement entirely the old holes which had evolved under a labour of love from the members over the years.
So it was that the new nine holes came into being, and the result is a course that will bring complete satisfaction to low and high handicapper alike.
The old and the new have joined together quite beautifully. For example, the green on what is now the eighth hole is one of the oldest on the course and was constructed by the members, using a mix of 70 per cent sand and 30 per cent clay, for a mere £29, yet the old greens are of such a standard that McEvoy felt no compulsion to change them and, indeed, in an ingenious move, actually used the old first green (well protected by trees and bunkers) as the green on the 13th hole, a long par five.
"The old nine holes was a tight course with a lot of potential danger," said Sandy Smith, at five, the lowest handicapper in the club and the holder of the old course record, a gross 69. Many might recall Sandy as a footballer with Shamrock Rovers and Sligo Rovers in the 1970s and an Irish international cricketer to boot who has converted his sporting enthusiasm to the golf course.
Everyone has their favourites in Coollattin, and, not surprisingly, Smith takes some time before actually settling on two. It is a measure of the manner in which the old and the new have integrated that a hole that was part of the existing nine (the seventh) and another (the 12th) which was created in more recent times find favour with him.
What is now the seventh hole - the old sixth - he describes as "a classic driving hole." Indeed it is, with the onus on the player to find the right hand side of the fairway and then, with water right, to show considerable bravery by flirting with the trees left to find the sanctuary of the green.
His other choice is the short 12th, a clever hole designed within a walled garden. Its angelic appearance disguises potentially hellish experiences for the golfer. The elevated green is protected by bunkers and the close proximity of the walls to the rear simply adds to the difficulty. A classic short hole which will enchant and frustrate in equal measure.
Then, there is the 14th hole, a dog-leg left which measures only 386 yards off the back stakes but with a strong element of danger. It is imperative to get away a good drive, otherwise you are blocked out by trees on your approach to a green surrounded by magnificent American Redwoods, while the 17th - a 469 yards par four off the back, and just 10 yards shorter off the forward stakes - is another hole which demands a long, accurate drive. McEvoy originally planned this hole as a par five, but reduced it to a four, and it is played to the old eighth green, again another example of McEvoy's ability to integrate old with new.
But the beauty of Coollattin is that nearly everyone will have a different favourite, a sure sign that there are few, if any, weaknesses on the course. And that, surely, is a real tribute to its members . . . thankfully, they are willing to share it with the rest of us.