South Africa arrived in Twickenham on the cusp of history. Bill Beaumont predicted, by way of a grunt, a home win. Accommodatingly, Joost van der Westhuizen limped off in the last quarter. England won and Jerry Guscott rushed off to present Gladiators. In Ravenhill, Ulster revelled in the glow of an unforgettable night when they humbled Toulouse in the European Cup. The players of Kilmacud Crokes and Eire Og demanded swimming lessons after they found themselves playing for the Leinster club football championship in the nearest thing Ireland has to a 50metre pool. Australian cricketers Mark Waugh and Shane Warne confessed that their innocence had been tarnished by an Indian bookmaker who offered them cash for tips on the weather.

Wouldn't happen here.