There is not much point living in the north of England if you can't gain some pleasure from a really foul August Sunday, especially when it serves your nation's interests. However, the crowd at Headingley was as anxious to get cricket yesterday as the England team was to avoid it.
The players - and their bosses - had the best of it. There were only 25 overs bowled in the day. By a remarkable coincidence, this was enough by one ball to save the England and Wales Cricket Board from having to offer spectators a 50 per cent refund, which would have cost them £200,000 on top of the million-odd they lost due to blank days earlier this season.
Anyway, for the first time in six Ashes Tests, the final day dawns with the game still unfinished, which for England is an improvement of sorts. But today is the crucial one. At the end of it is a door marked "sanctuary": a possible draw and the removal of the prospect of a 5-0 whitewash.
But the English fugitives are exhausted and limping, and their pursuers are nipping at their heels.
Australia declared with 110 overs left - 20 yesterday, 90 today - and England needing a mere 315 to win, in theory a thoroughly hittable target. The Australians are so rampant they spit on ideas like that: it was a witheringly contemptuous declaration. It was England who were relieved that only 2.3 of the 20 were bowled. The forecast for today is better.
The two men at the crease for England were both at the centre of attention yesterday. The day's most bizarre stir came right at the start when a load of boiled sweets (said to be Murray Mints) fell out of Marcus Trescothick's pocket when he was fielding in the covers.
It is legal for fielders to add their saliva to a cricket ball but first-class umpires were apparently warned before the season a sugary tongue might make the ball swing more, which would be on the margins of cricketing legality.
In baseball, there was less fuss when a Montreal player lost a stash of cocaine from his pocket. It is not easy to see how sweet-eating can be banned from the cricket field. And what would be done about the Australians' gum-chewing? This may be further evidence for Trescothick's partner, Michael Atherton, to help him make up his mind whether to retire or not. Atherton, presumed villain of the great dirt-in-pockets incident, must now be thinking that everything comes round again, each time more farcical than the last.
None the less, it remains bizarre that the selectors appear to be pushing Atherton to an early decision, which at this stage of a strenuous season is far more likely to be "go now" than it might be after relaxed contemplation. If and when there are better openers in England than Atherton, the game can easily afford to lose him. Until then, he should be cherished and, if necessary, indulged to encourage him to continue.
The day's 25 overs came in four mini-sessions. When play started - bang on time - Ricky Ponting smashed the England attack all over the shop: 21 runs came in the first two overs, 55 in 42 minutes. If the Murray Mints were being used, they weren't much use. Then it rained and when the players came back, England took momentary control. Matthew Hayden, out-of-sorts, was caught behind. Ponting, after a brilliant match, reached 72 in 90 minutes then was thumped on the pads twice by consecutive balls from Darren Gough. The second brought him Venkat's distinctive "out" signal, which resembles a man pulling an old-fashioned toilet chain.
The game's other centurion, Martyn, failed second time round. But Australia's lead was huge. In 1961, 1971, and 1991 as well as, of course, 1981, England had remarkable Test wins on this ground, usually after being in trouble. In 2001 even a draw would seem pretty amazing. Indeed, sweet.
