PLANET SOCCER:A WEEK ago Portsmouth shareholder Sulaiman Al Fahim let it be known that Egyptian striker Amr Zaki was rather keen on joining the club.
“He loves Portsmouth. He calls me almost every week and he wants to be part of the Portsmouth team,” he said.
Zaki, you might recall, made quite an impression during his loan spell with Wigan last season, scoring a heap of goals before falling in to the unfortunate habit of returning late from international duty.
“This is the fourth time he has not reported back on time,” said then Wigan manager Steve Bruce, “I can honestly say that in all my time in football I have never worked with someone as unprofessional.”
So, is he on his way? Not quite. “Joining Portsmouth is no longer an option for me,” the player said on his website. “After they signed an Israeli player (Tal Ben Haim) and also hired an Israeli football director (Avram Grant) a possible move was ruled out. On top of that, no way could I play at Portsmouth with an Algerian (Nadir Belhadj) within their ranks.” An (un)done deal.
Quotes of the week
“I have not recovered after the Slovenian fiasco. I can call my state prostration. At the moment nothing spurs me to life. When Arsene Wenger asked me how I was feeling I honestly said that I just did not want to play football.”
– Andrey Arshavin shrugs off Russia’s World Cup play-off defeat.
“He gave a corner to Bristol when Kevin Maher kept the ball in play and he was at least 50 yards away. If the Irish had had him then they probably would have been in the World Cup.”
– Just when the pain was beginning to ease . . . thanks for the reminder Mark Stimson (Gillingham manager).
“The comments were perhaps over the top. I apologise to anyone I offended. I’m only 38 and will make mistakes.”
– A contrite-ish sounding Roy Keane.
“I don’t think what he wanted to do got across to some players and also I think some of them are too thick to take it on board – and not good enough to take it on board anyway, to be perfectly honest with you.”
– Craig Burley explaining why things didn’t work out for the last Scotland manager, George Burley . . . his uncle.
Terry's influence knows no bounds
"JOHN Terry puts the nation's armband on sale," declared an affronted Daily Maillast week when an email from the England captain's management company did the rounds, seeking "suitable commercial endorsement opportunities" for the player ahead of the World Cup finals.
“John Terry is available to create effective brand awareness and endorse products and services globally,” it said, before pointing out that he is a “British sporting hero; England’s football captain; World Cup 2018 ambassador; Football icon; Dad of the year 2008; Voted as one of the World’s most influencial (sic) people.” Who, precisely, voted him one of the world’s most “influencial” people? They didn’t say, but as soon as they do we’ll let you know.
Wayne takes hands-off approach
IT was, of course, a bit of a bombshell when Wayne Rooney confessed to having not once changed his baby’s nappy since it made its debut on earth 10 days before. “To be fair, I have learned to do it but Colleen has been there and done it, like,” he said, an admission that drew a sharp rebuke from Britain’s Fatherhood Institute who suggested Rooney “looks like a bit of a dinosaur”.
Rooney, though, did speak of his pride and excitement at being a new father, a sense of joy we fear Birmingham’s Lee Bowyer isn’t sharing this weather. “The twins are ill at the moment,” he said of eight-month-old Charlie and Amelie. “I think I’m more tired than I’ve ever been. I’m doing stuff that I’ve never done before. Do I commiserate with Wayne? Well, he’s only got one, hasn’t he? In my house, one wakes the other and it’s like a conveyor belt, especially when they are ill.”
More quotes of the week
“It was a major shock to us, especially when we knew it was the heart. He’s a big man so he must need a big ticker to keep him going. But it will take a lot to knock over that old elephant.”
– Blackburn captain Ryan Nelsen sending jumbo good wishes to Sam Allardyce after his heart operation.
“I’ll say it loud and clear: I love money. It’s not football above all. I’m not the type to leave a club after six months, but I am a player capable of going to Qatar.”
– Bordeaux defender Marc Planus in a, well, refreshingly honest interview with L’Equipe.
“Every footballer needs an adviser at some point, but a player doesn’t need to pay between five and 15 per cent of his wages to a guy to set up a bank account, buy him a new fridge or ask his club’s chief executive for a pay rise.”
– Gary Neville urges the club’s stars to be brave enough to shop for their own fridges.
Taxing times
THE prospect of Liverpool ever selling Fernando Torres or Steven Gerrard abroad might be the worst nightmare of your average Liverpool fan, but it wouldn’t do much for the sleeping patterns of Britain’s Chancellor of the Exchequer either.
According to football magazine FourFourTwowhen the new 50 per cent tax rate is introduced in Britain next year (for salaries above £150,000) the pair will "pay a combined total of around £6,354,000 to the tax man". Maybe football's not so recession-proof after all.
