The shattered quartet comforted each other with the shared conviction that "the pros would never agree to play strokes around here." That was Kiawah Island in September 1991, the morning after the Ryder Cup in which matchplay had hidden much of the horror inflicted by a brutally relentless course.
Former Portmarnock professional Peter Townsend, European Tour referee John Paramor, Irish international John Carr and former Connacht interprovincial Bill Thompson, availed of the opportunity of playing it as a fourball. Paramor scored best with an 82; Townsend had 84; Carr shot 87 and Thompson, then a five-handicapper, carded a 91.
There wasn't even comfort for Townsend in bets he had struck with two English friends. "They were six and eight-handicappers and I wagered that they wouldn't break 100," he recalled yesterday. "I was nearly right: they shot 97 and 99."
Well, the pros are going to play strokes around Kiawah - in the World Cup next week, when Ireland will be represented by Padraig Harrington and Paul McGinley. As it happens, several players will be in a position to compare it with the challenge of six years ago, when the best figures came from David Feherty, who was level-par for 17 holes in beating Payne Stewart, 2 and 1.
Notable among them will be Colin Montgomerie, who had approximate figures in the low eighties when making a dramatic recovery from five down with five to play to gain a halved match with Mark Calcavecchia. And Fred Couples will be there, attempting to record a fifth World Cup victory in partnership with Davis Love.
Couples has reason to remember Kiawah with affection. Having crumbled to a bruising defeat by Christy O'Connor Jnr at The Belfry two years previously, he discovered competitive steel at Kiawah under the guidance of veteran Raymond Floyd, with whom he gained foursomes and fourball victories on the opening day.
But Ian Woosnam will be returning to the scene of bitter European disappointment, climaxed by Bernhard Langer's missed six-foot putt against Hale Irwin, on the last green of the last match. It was a grim exercise for the Welshman, who lost his singles by 3 and 1 against Chip Beck.
Looking back at that humbling Monday morning, Thompson said yesterday: "With the exception of Pine Valley, it is the toughest course I have ever played." But Townsend argued: "The problem lay with the way it was set-up."
He explained: "The greens were far too quick, probably 13 on the Stimpmeter. I have no doubt that the approach will be far more sensible next week." Players like Montgomerie and Woosnam will certainly hope so.
"I know I need that discipline and that motivation" - John Daly, who is competing in the Shark Shootout this weekend, commenting on a multi-million dollar contract with club manufacturer Callaway, which escalates according to his sobriety off the course and his performance on it. And by way of emphasising his current well-being, Daly shot 60 in a pro-am come-back last week.
Following on our recent piece about the highest golf course in the world - Tuctu GC (14,335 feet) in Peru - there is news of developments at the world's lowest course. Furnace Creek GC in Death Valley, California, have just completed a $1.3 million facelift involving five re-designed holes and a total restructuring of the tees and bunkers. Summer temperatures reach 120 degrees at the appropriately named Furnace Creek, which is 214 feet below sea level. This means that unique forces are at work, forces which cause golfers to notice a distinct difference in how balls respond in relation to other courses at or above sea-level.
One can only imagine how things must have been at the now defunct Sodom and Gomorrah Golfing Society's facility at Kallia, on the northern shores of the Dead Sea. At 1,250 feet below sea-level, it had no rival as the world's lowest course. Incidentally, the lowest course in Europe is the nine-hole layout at Rotterdam GC which is 26 feet below sealevel.
A total of 19 Irish players are in the 1998 ranking list for the PGA European Seniors Tour. But unfortunately, only four - David Jones, Paul Leonard, Eddie Polland and Liam Higgins - have gained inclusion among the 25 in Category I.
The next highest ranking including an Irishman is Category 4, which contains those winners of European Tour events who will be reaching their 50th birthday next year. They are Peter Oosterhuis (May 5th), Bob Shearer (May 25th), German Garrido (June 15th), Christy O'Connor Jnr (August 19th) and Ian Stanley (November 14th).
Irish aspirants from the recent qualifying school are Joe McDermott (Category 6), Denis O'Sullivan, Tommy Halpin and Arthur Spring (Category 9) and Adam Whiston and Tony O'Connor (Category 15). Other Irish players in the list are Michael Murphy (Category 7), Gordon Parkhill and Hugh Jackson (Category 8), Hugh Boyle and Christy O'Connor Snr (Category 11), Arnold O'Connor (Category 12) and Tony Coveney and Bobby Browne (Category 14).
Boyle's inclusion, through the Seniors career money list, brings to mind his unique distinction in professional tournament golf. At a time when Darren Clarke is making an impact in the Far East, it is worth noting that Boyle became the first player from these islands to win in Japan where, in 1966, he captured the Yomiuri Open.
Bobby Jones finished at the head of the field. And Bobby Jones had the distinction of finishing second . . . and third and fourth and fifth. And Bobby Jones was also last . . . and every place in between.
Confused? Rest easy: there is a simple explanation. We are referring to the recent staging of the 19th Bobby Jones Open, held at Eagle Creek GC in Michigan, where entry for the 37 competitors was limited to those carrying the name of the great man, or versions thereof.
To avoid confusion caused by shouts of "Hey, Bob," it was agreed that the players should adopt nicknames. So there was Radio Bob and Computer Bob, Derby City Bob, Cape Cod Bob and Too Tall Bob. During the 1960s, Bobby Jones was struck by Syringomyelia, a debilitating disease which attacked his nervous system and ultimately contributed to his death. With this in mind, the organisers of the tournament make a contribution to research into the disease.
Meanwhile, competitors from these parts might be called Ballybunion Bob, Blackwood Bob or Belvoir Bob. Or just plain Plumb Bob or Ten Bob. It's a tricky business, keeping up with the Joneses.
This day in golf history . . . On November 15th 1967, Roberto de Vicenzo crowned what was for him a remarkable year by winning the individual award in the World Cup. His achievement was rendered all the more memorable by the fact that the event was staged in his native Argentina - at the Jockey Club of Buenos Aires.
Four months earlier, aged 48, de Vicenzo became the oldest winner of the British Open when he triumphed in the last staging of the championship at Hoylake. Now, he was attempting to hold off the challenge of 24-year-old Australian, David Graham.
"I never think I can beat these youngsters," said the amiable Argentinian. But he did, by closing a two-stroke deficit and then edging clear of Graham with a final round of 70 for an aggregate of 269. There was compensation for the Australians, however, when Graham and Bruce Devlin won the World Cup by 10 strokes from the local pairing of de Vicenzo and Vicente Fernandez.
Teaser: A player cannot determine whether a long blade of grass, a twig, a tumbleweed or some similar natural object interfering with his swing through the green, is loose or is attached to its roots. The player moves the object to the extent necessary to make a determination and discovers that the object is attached. If the movement of the natural object results in the area of the player's intended swing being improved, is the player subject to penalty under Rule 13-2?
Answer: No, provided he returns the natural object to its original position before playing his next stroke. A player is entitled to determine whether such a natural object which interferes with the area of his intended swing is loose provided that, if the object is found not to be loose, (1) it has not become detached and (2) it is returned to its orginal position before the next stroke.
