Newcastle United 1 Manchester United 2The bureaucrats have taken over the asylum. Alex Ferguson and Manchester United are likely to be charged this week by the English Football Association with bringing the game into disrepute after the manager's touchline tirade at referee Uriah Rennie and the fourth official Jeff Winter during the first half of his side's deconstruction of Newcastle.
Ferguson will be separately reported by both officials and faces the prospect of being banned from the touchline - though he stands nowhere near it at Old Trafford - after using obscenities towards Rennie and Winter following Andy O'Brien's unpunished 23rd-minute foul on Ryan Giggs.
Manchester United are vulnerable to FA action after clubs were sent private warning letters during the summer which threatened punishment if employees - not only players - were deemed to be out of control. During his reaction Ferguson swore repeatedly and is believed to have called Rennie a "cheat".
Deep down Ferguson will know neither Rennie nor Winter is a cheat but whether either man is competent is another matter.
The fact is Rennie made a mistake in not recognising O'Brien's challenge was mistimed. Giggs went down when he could have been through on Shay Given and, if the letter of the law were applied, O'Brien would have been sent off. The law is an ass.
There is more malice in Roy Keane's smile than in O'Brien's career. O'Brien deserved to be booked and Giggs awarded a free kick. "I suppose I will have to curb my behaviour," Ferguson said afterwards.
Ferguson was dismissed and spent the remainder of the match in Bobby Robson's office watching the match on television.
A racing man, Ferguson knows winning is not the only measurement of success. "What did it beat?" is always asked of a victorious horse.
On Saturday Manchester United beat Alan Shearer. On this evidence - and last weekend at Elland Road - Shearer is the only Newcastle player who would be confident of getting into Ferguson's line-up. Jonathan Woodgate and Craig Bellamy, the latter a Ferguson favourite, would be contenders but both were injured.
It was not just Newcastle who missed them. The whole of the Premiership did. This "league" is a flimsy democracy, as shown by United's trophy cabinet.
Newcastle, its second-largest club in terms of gates and one of the big five in terms of quality, have to be able to provide a sustained challenge if the Premiership is to retain vitality.
But instead of leaving St James' Park excited by the idea of Newcastle joining Chelsea and Arsenal as credible players, one left thinking Blackburn Rovers or Everton might sneak into the top five this season.
Newcastle were poor. They were not hammered 6-2 like they were by United in April here but that was because Given made an alert save from John O'Shea in the third minute, Ruud van Nistelrooy missed a sitter in the 49th and Paul Scholes hit a four-yard shot straight at Given on 56.
Aaron Hughes almost scored an own goal in the 42nd minute but, when van Nistelrooy made the breakthrough in the 51st, there was an inevitability about a second coming soon. Sure enough, eight minutes later, Scholes was left unmarked three yards out and chested a cross from Keane over the line. Keane was masterful.
Robson avoided a question about spending in this last week of the transfer window but, having dropped left-back Olivier Bernard after Leeds and witnessed another unconvincing performance at right back by Andy Griffin, Robson could do with at least one new full back. The name Stephen Carr springs to mind.
