Soccer/Champions League/Follow-up: Steven Gerrard awoke yesterday with a Champions League winner's medal draped around his neck, the European Cup in his hotel room and an admission he had seen his dream of lifting the trophy slipping away.

Later the Liverpool captain paraded the cup around Liverpool, each one of the victorious party will receive a bonus of £100,000 for their efforts. Yet, even as they stared out at the thousands in the city centre, the memory of the desolation that had engulfed Gerrard at half-time was still fresh in his mind.

"I couldn't concentrate and didn't know what was going through my head," he said, having endured Milan's stroll to a 3-0 lead. "I had my head in my hands and thought it was over, but the manager calmed us down, told us to be quiet, and we listened.

"Even so, I never thought at any point in the game that we were going to win it. I was just trying to get the three goals back and, once we'd done that and taken it to extra-time, we were desperate for penalties. Six or seven of us had nothing left. We were running on empty. In the last few minutes of extra-time I saw them fling that cross over and (with) Shevchenko running in, I just thought 'goal'. The double save was incredible and, when Serginho's first penalty went over the bar, I realised it was going to be our day."

Rafael Benitez blamed the 24-year-old's patchy form during the year on the speculation over his future, and Gerrard agreed. "I didn't play well enough at times. I decided to wait until the end of the season and to get my head right, then I started to play well again. All I need to do now is to sort out the contract.

"As it is, I slept with the trophy in my room. I didn't want it out of my sight. When someone took it away I felt as if I had somehow lost a part of me."