WE’VE BEEN inundated with requests from, well, two managers asking for an email address where they can send us accounts of their Golf Masters’ experiences, their slightly plaintive and forlorn tones suggesting to us that their teams’ performances to date have bordered on the cataclysmic.

Really all that can bring cheer to managers so crestfallen is a Nike Golf Dri Fit polo shirt, which will be our reward for anyone who makes the crew at Golf Masters’ HQ chuckle loudly with their tales of woe. Or joy – although that seems less likely.

So, you can email us at golfmasters@irishtimes.com – but remember, the people at the other end of that address would find it easier to explain the Theory of Relativity than trace a lost pin number, so only use it to make us smile.

In the past we’ve had admirably inventive managers craft entire stories using the names of our players (eg “Boo was missing the cut Weekley, he was feeling so Baddeley he felt it was time to walk Verplank – or Els Dredge up a new coach, just in Casey he could help”), so feel free to attempt to out-do them.

We should say, though, that we have a limited number of Nike Golf Dri Fit polo shirts so emails along the lines of “my team is in 5,273th place – can I have a shirt” will be dismissed. With sympathy, but dismissed nonetheless.