Spice Girls, Brazilian beach volleyball players with modelling contracts, British-based Swedish television personalities. . . This World Cup has definitely been one for the girls. No of course it hasn't, it's been one for the lads - as usual. Now we girls enjoy a nice firm pair of pecs as much as the next man and there is some sporting justification for the lingering camera shots at shirt-swapping time - but the amount of cleavage taking up valuable airtime at France 98 has hit an all time high (or should that read low). Forget the winner of the golden boot, it's the winner of the "golden boob" award everyone seems to be really interested in. Favourite for the title, the lovely Susannah Werner, girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (depending on the tabloid you take) of the equally, neigh more lovely Ronaldo, has been on the telly more times than Des Lynam.
And for what? For being a successful sportswoman in her own right? I don't think so. Yesterday, odds were even being offered on the number of times Werner's gorgeous pouting smile would be shown during the Brazil/ Holland semi-final. Pressing the flesh on RTE, Bill O'Herlihy forced a prediction on the matter from Johnny Giles (6) and Liam "I hope there's plenty of them" Brady, who optimistically plumped for 10 only to be disappointed by a Werner no-show on the night.
A word in your ear lads, most women go to matches to watch the football, not to ogle buttocks. Maybe they should be left to spectate without being pulled into the action themselves by a bunch of salivating cameramen and pundits. So, three more matches to go and to the French camera operators we say thanks, but no thanks for the mammaries - let's keep a clean sheet in the final lads.