John Hartson must have felt like that girl in the Popstars television series, who took herself to every regional audition round the country in the desperate hope of eventually catching Nasty Nigel's eye and making it to the big time.
On four occasions in the past six months Hartson has been about to leave Wimbledon and return to top-flight football. And four times, with Tottenham, Rangers, Charlton and initially with Coventry, he failed the audition. He must have wondered if it was ever going to happen for him.
"The image he has on the field is not how he really is,["] says Jonathan Barnett, Hartson's agent. "Of course he has this tough, Welsh, manly exterior and he didn't want to show it, but he was hurt by those set-backs. I was the one who had to break the news each time and I saw it in his face. I knew it hurt."
At last, yesterday, Hartson found himself back in the big time at least for the rest of this season. Coventry City at the moment hardly represent the safest of havens for a man whose stated intention is to play at the top level for the rest of his career.
But for the past 18 months, John Hartson has been defined by failure. Failed medicals, failed transfers, a failure to keep his foot out of range of hanging baskets outside pubs in Swansea. After that lot, anyone showing an interest is in danger of having their hand bitten off.
"What you have to remember, he is still only 25,["] says Barnett. "With respect, 25-yearold footballers are not the most worldly-wise creatures and I think most of them would have buckled under what John has gone through."
Certainly many a player would have torn their hair out; so at least he did not have that problem. The question is, given the baggage he carries with him, why would anyone want to sign John Hartson at all?
The answer lies in his time at West Ham, after he had been bought from Arsenal for £5 million sterling towards the end of the 1997 season. Here, by scoring the goals that kept West Ham in the Premiership, he developed a reputation as a fire fighter, a man for a crisis, a man who relishes a challenge.
The following year, he was the second highest scorer in the division, with 24 league goals, most of which were supplied by Eyal Berkovic.
Which was a nice irony, as Hartson's Upton Park career was effectively finished the moment he was filmed kicking Berkovic in the head during a training session.
When Wimbledon offered £7.5 million for him soon after that incident, the great wheelerdealer Harry Redknapp felt it a tidy bit of business for a player with a fragile temper. To complete the circle, his Coventry debut is likely to be Monday's encounter with the Hammers.
Despite the video evidence, for Joe Kinnear, then Wimbledon manager, there were no doubts in buying Hartson.
Yes he had a temper on him, yes he behaved as if every referee was out to get him, but he was a player in the old Crazy Gang mode, a player Kinnear says "would put his head in the blades of a combine harvester if that's what it took to get a goal".
When he was Alex Ferguson's assistant, Brian Kidd thought him a better bet for Manchester United than Dwight Yorke.
Though to be fair, in his autobiography, Ferguson cites Kidd's affection for Hartson as a sign of his weakness as a potential manager: "Hartson - are you serious?" Ferguson splutters. "Do you really think of John Hartson as a Manchester United player?"
Maybe not, but the thing about Hartson is that he is no Stan Collymore: His commitment is total. Some might say he tries too hard. In Wimbledon's last few days in the Premiership, when he came back from a longterm injury determined to effect a single-handed rescue, Hartson's snarling Welsh dragon act was as much a distraction as a benefit.
Against Bradford in a desperate match at the tail-end of last season, too much of his energy was wasted over-doing the Crazy Gang heritage; he was accused by Bradford of kneeing Gunnar Halle in the tunnel before the match had even started.
His agent feels he may have learned from that experience. "He has a real inner strength," says Barnett. "He loves a challenge and the harder the challenge the more he is up for it. But he has a family now, he is much more settled in his private life. I honestly believe Coventry will get the best out of him."
Certainly Craig Bellamy, his Welsh international colleague who is already at Highfield Road, can't wait for him to be match fit. "He's an awesome talent," says Bellamy. "He strikes the ball brilliantly."
Even though he has not played since December and not scored since November, Hartson is a virtually risk-free signing for Coventry. In a time of simmering discontent in the stands, they have bought an instant crowd favourite. Everyone loves a hard man when he's being hard for their side.
For a team who would latterly have wilted against a bunch of girl guides, they have bought instant backbone. Plus, in an innovative pay-per-play deal, the club will fork out no more than £15,000 every time he pulls on a sky blue shirt.
Fifteen big performances between now and the end of the season will cost only £225,000, but could save millions in lost revenues.
"He wanted to play in the Premiership again and now he's back," says Barnett. "It's really down to him to make sure he is still there with Coventry next season."