TV VIEW:WELL, HATS off to Andre Lotterer, Marcel Fassler and Benoit Treluyer for sharing shifts in that Audi to win the Le Mans 24-hour race yesterday. But, by the sounds of him, the poor fella in the Eurosport commentary box was on duty from start to finish, possibly without even having a comfort break along the way.

“That man is a local Le Mans officion . . . digni . . . tion . . . officion . . . dignatory . . . eh . . . one of them,” Martin Haven informed us as he tried to identify a chap congratulating the Audi team after the race.

“Too many hours on air, Martin,” said his co-commentator Liz Halliday, to which he replied: “Not enough!”

And that’s the thing, he sounded utterly crestfallen when the motor marathon was over; you sensed, if he had his way, he’d make it at least a 48-hour spin. Every weekend.

To some of us, who know no better, the Le Mans 24-hour race might just seem like a bunch of vehicles going ’round in circles for a whole day, the only real challenge avoiding nodding off at the wheel or resisting the urge to stop off at a lay-by for a sangwidge and a flask of tea.

Martin, need it be said, doesn’t view it that way. In fact, so besotted is he with the race he described his commentary position, “six floors above the start/finish line”, as “one of the most privileged positions on the planet”. From there he was able to see the Audi driven by Andre, Marcel or Benoit whiz by just the 355 times. Martin’s definition of heaven, that is.

So, it’s unlikely Eurosport had to lock him in the commentary box, insisting he do the full shift – if anything, he probably bolted the door from the inside for fear they’d order him to take a nap.

Inevitably, most of the excitement was over by the time some of us tuned in yesterday, Martin still breathless as he told the latecomers about Audi’s two other cars in the race crashing out rather spectacularly.

“But when you’re driving around public roads hell for leather for 24 hours, with 55 other cars full of nutters, it’s almost inconceivable that you won’t have some kind of drama,” he explained. It was a fair point.

While Martin was chuffed for Audi, winning their 10th Le Mans in 13 years, his heart went out to Peugeot who, “after 24 blistering, heartbreaking, stunning, astonishing hours” going ’round in circles, finished an excruciating 14 seconds behind.

It was time for Martin to say goodbye. As Eurosport’s top vroom vroom racing commentator, it’s not that he’ll be idle, and he fills his time with a bit of bobsleigh and the like when the cars are back in the garage. But he did seem a bit grief-stricken that another Le Mans had come to an end.

“Thank you for sharing as much or as little as you could,” he said, which sounded a little like a swipe at those of us who slept through the bulk of the race. “The tension has been all but unbearable, if you felt any of it on your sofa then I think we’ve done a pretty decent job. See you in 2012.”

Well, that left us a little melancholic, and at a time like that only Colm O’Rourke and Joe Brolly chatting about Roscommon v Leitrim could possibly cheer you up – or leave you feeling tense on your sofa.

“He changed horses mid-stream and even John Wayne used to get his feet wet doing that,” said Colm on our arrival, Michael Lyster correcting him soon after by telling him “it was Ben Hur you were thinking of”.

Eh?

When your telly acts weird like that all you can do is switch it off and on again, in the hope that it’ll right itself. It did, kind of.

Turns out they were talking about Leitrim missing a slightly decent goal chance in the first half, when the forward was caught in several minds when the opportunity presented itself.

And this, Brolly reckoned, summed up Leitrim’s problems, their aimlessness and decision-making leaving a lot to be desired.

“Hand-passing voyages to nowhere,” he sighed, “it was enough to make a dog eat its granny, watching that.”

Michael should really have stepped in there and reassured the viewers that RTÉ doesn’t approve of canines devouring grannies, even after disappointing Connacht semi-finals, but as John Wayne once nearly put it, “a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do”.

Or was that Ben Hur?