According to the London Evening Standard last week, there's uproar in the world of gay football following revelations that Stonewall, who won the Gay World Cup, used two straight players in their line-up.

Roger Bromiley, captain of the Stonewall second XV, was so outraged by the scandal he left the club and formed a rival team, Lamda FC. "I'll pick a player who is really awful if I have to, as long as he's gay," Bromiley fumed. "I'd rather have a gay striker with his legs tied together than Michael Owen, who is straight." The mind boggles.