TV View: Lansdowne Road, February 27th, 2005: the Munster man made history but, predictably enough, he was modesty personified at full-time about his achievement - which was unprecedented, unparalleled and quite, quite extraordinary.
Un-bloody-believable, in fact. Yep, George Hook correctly forecast the outcome of a rugby match. "Ireland by six points," he'd said to Tom McGurk as kick-off loomed, leaving us to assume, based on his form, that it might be five, it might be seven, but it'd never be six. Hats off. In time our jaws will unlock and take on a non-agape-like look about them.
But, lest we forget, another Munster man had a big day at Lansdowne, although his feat was somewhat more predictable. Mind you, when the question was asked in the build-up - would Ronan O'Gara pass the 500-point mark against England? - it added to our concerns about Irish over-confidence. True, England have developed a nasty habit of conceding cheap penalties, but even on their worst of days they tend not to give away 167 of them in 80 minutes.
"It's the game you've all been waiting for," said the RTÉ2 announcer person as the channel was about to whisk us to Lansdowne. "Of course the English have been dreading it," she added, "because the Irish are on fire." Stop! "I love it when the Irish are favourites, when they have that little bit of over-confidence," grinned Phil De Glanville, the Englishman hired by RTÉ for the day. "And I love it when the English guys come here with smiles," George replied, "it's like 'beware of Greeks bearing gifts'." "Jeez," sighed Brent Pope, "he's already talking about Greeks." De Glanville smiled, but not being entirely familiar with The George and Brent Show he wasn't entirely sure what his fellow panellists were on about. But, sure, we're rarely sure ourselves.
But George was off. "Let me explain to you why we are the favourites: we're better led, we've a better coach, we're better selected, and we've better players," he said, intimating that Ireland were, in his opinion, to some extent, in a slightly superior position to England. "That's why we're favourites. It's nothing to do with some sort of histrionic tag that my friend from Bath would have you believe, it's simply based on logic and fact." Stop! At least the Irishman hired by the BBC for the day, Keith Wood, was voicing our innermost concerns ("the word for us is 'complacency' - if we're complacent we're in trouble, if we're not we can win"), while reflecting fondly on his memories of beating England at Lansdowne.
"As I tried to leave the field," he said, "I got grabbed by the neck. I was very tired, I got yanked, really overly aggressive, I cocked my fist, I turned around . . . and it was my mother." Jonathan Davies chuckled heartily. Then Steve Rider asked him to share his thoughts about the Lansdowne game, but the honest truth was: Jonathan didn't really care, he was still thinking about Paris and Wales' exceedingly glorious triumph over France the day before.
If you'd told him Earth had been invaded by little green men from Mars and would be obliterated by Monday afternoon he'd have said: "whatever". While still beaming broadly. Any way, he was too hoarse to speak, and too dreamily dazed to focus on more current rugby events.
Match time. O'Gara drop goal. Then: the Irish defence said "after you" to Martin Corry. "Thanks very much," he replied. England try. O'Gara penalty. O'Gara penalty. England penalty. O'Gara drop goal. Then England scored a try. Which was disallowed.
"Who's the linesman," a not-very-happy Dewi Morris asked Eddie Butler back on the BBC. "He's French," said Eddie. Silence in the commentary box. Half-time. "The two sides absolutely locked," said Tom. An intoxicating duel, then. "I sense that Ireland are tense," Guscott, Jeremy Guscott, said to Keith. "TENSE? VERY, VERY TENSE," Keith replied, before resuming gnawing his knuckles.
Second Half. Monster England pressure. Drop goal, 13-12. O'Gara, missed penalty. And then? Well the Holy Trinity - Hickie, Murphy and O'Driscoll - intervened and we had ourselves a try. And a conversion. 19-13. England huffed and puffed and puffed and huffed but they failed in their attempts to deny George his six point victory.
Full-time. In a warm tribute to referee Jonathan Kaplan George asked if "we could have him every week". By now on a forecasting roll he proceeded to predict defeat by France and victory over Wales.
If normal service is resumed that'll be the French trounced, followed by a hiding in Cardiff. Very probably.
