ENGLAND v PACIFIC ISLANDS: EVEN THE most sleep-deprived Buddhist monks have witnessed fewer bright new dawns than English rugby fans these past five years.
Over the horizon have poured all manner of players and coaches, every one of them convinced the future is rosy and the portents encouraging. Mostly it has been a mirage but there is something different about Martin Johnson's regime. The new man may not have managed a team before today but he can spot an impostor with his eyes closed.
That quality alone has enabled England to revive themselves quicker than expected from the dog-house depths of the New Zealand summer tour. Maybe the nightclubs of Bagshot hold less attraction than those of Auckland but the players look more content in their work. While that does not necessarily mean they are going to play like millionaires in their potentially awkward match against the Pacific Islanders this afternoon, Johnson has moved swiftly to stiffen the weakest links.
If there is one myth which embarrasses the 2003 World Cup-winning captain above all others it is the image of him a miracle worker, an oval-ball Magic Johnson. "It's the obvious thing for people to say, so they'll say it," he sighed yesterday. "This team has never been about one person, whether it be a player or a manager."
That may be but those close to Johnson over the past few weeks are unanimously positive about his stewardship so far. "You look at him and he tends to seem very pensive . . . I'm not sure he can lift that brow up any higher," said the centre Jamie Noon, the oldest player in today's home backline. "But he's empowered us to go out and play and that's really reassuring and relaxing. It makes you happy to go out on the field and give your all."
By picking form players on top of proven combinations at number eight and nine as well as at 10 and 12, Johnson's seemingly bold selection is more pragmatic than it appears at first glance.
England's scrummaging expert, Graham Rowntree, also senses Johnson is rapidly growing into his new role. "He's still a miserable bugger but what I'm noticing is his rugby knowledge is coming out," said the former Leicester prop. "It's impeccable and always has been. When he first came into the job he took a step back to assess the situation. He's got a nice manner about him: authoritative without pointing his finger."
Johnson seems content accepting the job was the right call. "A lot of people might say: 'You've got a lot to risk in terms of your reputation'. But if you live the rest of your life thinking like that you're not going to do anything. It was a fantastic opportunity."
As yet he is declining to reveal whether he intends to wear a tracksuit or a collar and tie at Twickenham this afternoon, nor whether he will leap for joy in the style of Clive Woodward in the event of England scoring a try. "You have to be yourself," said the former Leicester lock. "If it's an act, people see through it."
Woodward's observation his former captain could lack some necessary managerial tools also received short shrift. "That's Clive, isn't it? He's entitled to his opinion." Even Woodward must appreciate Johnson's greatest gift: an ability to see the obvious and act while others hesitate.
Yesterday the International Rugby Board issued stern reminders on tackle, ruck and scrum protocols, a potential distraction on the eve of a big game. Johnson never mentioned the issue. What matters is building a winning ethos regardless of refereeing quirks. "It doesn't matter where I think England should be, it's playing Test matches that defines where you are. We need a core of players whose team this is, who aren't necessarily there to impress me or [attack coach] Brian Smith. I never blamed the coach when we lost."
Johnson is fully aware the buck stops with him but is more concerned about Danny Cipriani, Danny Care and Tom Croft playing to their potential than protecting his own skin.
"My biggest fear is I don't do it well and that the England team doesn't do well as a result," he said. "It's not about me." His employers are also in it for the long haul. "You can't put timescales on these things," said Rob Andrew, the Rugby Football Union's elite rugby director. "If you'd talked to Harry Redknapp a fortnight ago he wouldn't have predicted what Spurs have subsequently done."
The uber-physical Pacific Islanders are well capable of copying Stoke City's no-nonsense blueprint but England should have enough desire to survive a torrid opening assault and to open their latest account successfully. A failure to prick this South Sea bubble would be an inauspicious start to the Johnsonian era.
ENGLAND: D Armitage; P Sackey, J Noon, R Flutey, U Monye; D Cipriani, D Care; A Sheridan; L Mears, M Stevens, S Borthwick (capt), N Kennedy, T Croft, N Easter. Replacements: D Hartley, P Vickery, T Palmer, J Haskell, Michael Lipman, H Ellis, T Flood.
PACIFIC ISLANDERS: K Ratuvou (Fiji); S Tagicakibau (Samoa), S Rabeni (Fiji), S Mapusua (Samoa), V Delasau (Fiji); P Hola (Tonga), M Rauluni (Fiji, capt); J Va'a (Samoa), A Lutui (Tonga), C Johnston (Samoa), F Levi (Samoa), K Leawere (Fiji), S Naevo (Fiji), N Latu (Tonga), F Maka (Tonga). Replacements: S Koto (Fiji), K Pulu (Tonga), H T-Pole (Tonga), G Stowers (Samoa), S Martens (Tonga), S Bai (Fiji), E Taione (Tonga).