Eddie Jordan can laugh about it now but the last time he went racing in Monaco he was "suicidal". The normally ebullient Irishman was going through the worst time of his motor racing life at the one place in the world where he could least afford it.
When an already difficult season reached its nadir with a miserable display in the most famous grand prix of all, Jordan appeared ready to retire to his luxury yacht anchored off Monte Carlo's harbour - or throw himself into the water.
"This time last year was suicidal," said the 51-year-old. "Monaco was the worst time of my 28 years of motor racing life. It was hell and I hated every moment of it. "I cannot cope when the car is not competitive. I can't cope when a driver gets out of the car and says the car is God-damn undrivable because they are not joking.
"Motor racing is just like any other business, any other sport - it's the vibe. It was a dreadful weekend in front of family, sponsors and friends and Monaco is not a place where you want that to happen. "But it was ultimately fantastic because it kicked me into action. I realised that unless we made some radical changes the team would simply plod along in the lower divisions. It was hard, but difficult decisions were necessary. Though I don't want to pinpoint anything because I am not sure you could pinpoint any one thing."
The changes produced almost instant results. Within weeks of that May misery Ralf Schumacher claimed their first points of the season with sixth in the British Grand Prix just yards from the team's Silverstone factory.
That sparked a golden run which yielded points in every race bar one until the end of the season with the most memorable result coming in Belgium as Damon Hill scored their maiden victory at the 127th attempt.
The former world champion added the icing on the cake in the final race with the points that finally allowed Jordan to break-up the top four monopoly in the constructors' championship.
"That was the most important day in my motor racing career so far," added Jordan, who launched his grand prix outfit in 1991 after significant success in lesser formulas. "When we broke the stranglehold of the top four teams in Suzuka I was more emotional and excited than when we won in Spa."
The improvement has continued this season and 12 months on from that black day, Jordan's team will line-up for tomorrow's grand prix maybe not favourites to win but certainly strong contenders.
Such has been the reversal in fortunes, the former bank manager could light-heartedly reflect on last season.
New arrival Heinz-Harald Frenzten is equal third in the drivers' championship after two podium finishes, while Hill's fourth place in Imola has left the team a strong third in the manufacturers' championship.
Hill believes Jordan are now on the verge of becoming a "monumental" team in Formula One capable of challenging the likes of Ferrari, McLaren and Williams. "It's very nice to hear a driver say that because, for Damon anyway, he does not say things very lightly," added Jordan. "But we still have a bit to learn, the team is still growing in a very strong and positive way. "It is very important when you build a bridge that you know what is underneath it first.
The foundation is solid. There is a very good financial structure now, there is a very good technical structure. And there is a great driving team here - Heinz-Harald has slotted in particularly well with Damon as a driving force. "We have certainly grown up. The last half of last year has given us the inner confidence, the psychological belief that we can do this." But Jordan knows there is still a long way to go before the dream he had when he switched to Formula One in 1991 can be realised.
"In 1991 I probably thought I could conquer the world. I have matured a bit since then - I now realise there is pain that has to be endured. There has to be balance."
Jordan endured the pain in Monaco. But those "suicidal" thoughts will be a brief memory if his dream is finally achieved - his only danger then will be the threat of drowning in champagne.
