European Cup/ Pool Five Munster v Llanelli: 'The change was forced on me at Swansea, but I just wish I could have had a good eight-year run at it here. I think I could have achieved a lot more' Gerry Thornleytalks to Shaun Payne, still out in all weathers as the cosy desk job goes on hold
He must be the best team manager in Europe. He latches onto crosskicks and grubbers for tries, he launches key counterattacks with a swivel of his 35-year-old hips and punts upfield, he unerringly catches balls that drop like meteors from outer space, amid floodlights, swirling winds, rain and hailstones. Most managers don't do this, though, admittedly, Shaun Payne has had little time lately to organise hotels or flights. So much for semi-retirement-cum-management.
The plan may have been for Payne to fill in at Munster while the World Cup contingent were away, and he went through a normal pre-season without playing friendlies, but so far he has started nine of Munster's 11 matches this season. Only Mick O'Driscoll and Ian Dowling have had more game time than the South African-born fullback.
"It's that management thing again," he quips. "You can select yourself."
A week before the opening Heineken European Cup game against Wasps, Declan Kidney sat Payne down and suggested he just concentrate on playing for the time being. "I don't know whether that was reflective of how I was playing or how I was doing the management job," he says.
Assuredly it was the former.
His form has been as good as, if not better than, ever. In the one-point defeat to Wasps and in the rout of Clermont, he scored tries from O'Gara's beautifully disguised grubber at the Ricoh Arena and from O'Gara's crosskicked penalty at Thomond Park.
Ask him if he's enjoying it as much as ever, and he reasons simply: "When you win, you always enjoy it. Let's be honest, in the professional game, that's the key.
"If you're winning, it's great craic and if you're playing half decent as well in that environment then it's very enjoyable."
The one proviso, he adds, has been the weather, and here he speaks more as a fullback than as a South African. Yet his positioning, handling, catching and concentration have been faultless.
When the sodden Munster-Leinster game in Musgrave Park began with Mick O'Driscoll and Malcolm O'Kelly fumbling kick-off receptions, so introducing a night of what was at times Keystone Cops rugby, Payne caught everything as if he were playing on the high veldt. Likewise when the freezing sleet was slanting down in the Stradey storm and he was forced to shield his eyes from the hailstones just so he could see. It doesn't even matter if he's leaping among a thicket of chasing opponents. It's quite extraordinary, really, a combination of Evel Knievel and Magic Johnson.
"Look, I'll be honest, the conditions have not been ideal," he says with a slight laugh. "It's been absolutely freezing, especially when you're stuck in a game like that and there are long periods in the game when you're not that involved. The main worry is actually keeping warm and keeping your concentration. In conditions like that, sometimes you need a bit of luck . . . A bit of luck and good technique will see you through."
Maybe, but we're not having that. What advice would he give a young, aspiring fullback in the art of catching up-and-unders?
"I've thought about it and the only thing I would say is put yourself in the best position in the first place. On a wet, shitty night, if you're still running when you have to catch the ball you're really staring down the barrel then.
"Put yourself in a good position. Make sure you're not turning to catch the ball. Make sure you're coming onto it is the main thing, and study the outhalf you're playing against. Do your video work. We're always doing that, kicking outhalves especially - both outhalves. Some teams have right- and left-footed options - you'd want to be looking at that, because it can make your job doubly difficult."
Nothing about his formative years could have prepared him for the last couple of weeks, not least because he was largely employed as a wing in his native country.
Fittingly his father, Lawrence, was always a massive influence, for it is thanks to Payne's paternal grandmother, Maria Williams from Sligo, that Shaun possesses an Irish passport. And Lawrence still watches his son's matches on TV whenever possible.
Young Payne took up the game in Bergveliet school, Cape Town - "I started when I was six years old and never, ever stopped" - and played there until he was 18, progressing through the ranks until Ian McIntosh - who became a coaching mentor - took him to Natal and the Sharks: "Mac was the man who gave me my break. As eccentric as he was, he was the one."
Along the way he did 18 months of military service, and he recounts extraordinary tales of hardship during his stint at a remote base, Hoetspruit, a quasi-bootcamp with 3am starts, countless hours of cleaning floors, toilets and the like, 30-mile marches with 40-kilo backpacks, and trench-digging. It certainly toughened him up.
"I firmly believe that it teaches you a lot about yourself. It's not ideal, and when you're going through it you're actually thinking to yourself, 'What am I doing to myself in this situation?' But I learned to deal with a lot of issues there. For all the hardship you make a lot of good friends and you basically learn your limits . . . You learn that you can actually go a lot farther than you thought you can. It gives you a lot of confidence . . . You wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's like anything in life: if it doesn't kill you it'll make you a better man."
At the age of 22, he made his Super 10 debut - in the 1994 final against Queensland, and admits to being petrified. About all he can remember is losing, and that would become a theme. Although Natal won the Currie Cup in 1995 and 1996, he didn't break into the side again until 1997, whereupon they lost successive Super 12 and Currie Cup semi-finals before a 1999 Currie Cup final defeat to Gauteng Lions.
McIntosh was leaving by then, so after 90 appearances over six years, concerned about the political situation, quota systems and money, Payne and his wife, Michelle, decided to broaden their horizons in Swansea for two years or so.
In his second season he scored 16 tries in 22 games as Swansea cut a swathe through the Welsh-Scottish league and also reached the European Cup quarter-finals.
But by March in the 2002-2003 season, the woebegone Whites were going into administration and players were being released or having their wages cut.
So when he looked out of his hotel bedroom in southwest Wales last Saturday morning and saw how the heavens were opening it did not unduly surprise him.
"It was my home and I've got good memories of Swansea," he says. "It ended on a very sour note, unfortunately . . . but I had some good days and years there, and I really need to be clear on that."
Not a nomadic type by nature, he was fortunate Alan Gaffney had kept in touch, and he could never have imagined his life panning out as in these last five seasons.
"I've said it before - I just wished I'd looked into the Irish thing earlier and the opportunity had been there earlier, but I'm not one for changing teams. I hate it, to be honest. The change was forced on me at Swansea, but I just wish I could have had a good eight-year run at it here. I think I could have achieved a lot more."
His first Munster campaign culminated in that semi-final defeat to Wasps, and the second with a quarter-final exit to Biarritz.
Although a religious man, he must have thought, like his fellow Munsterman and compatriot Trevor Halstead, he was cursed.
"I thought I had done something wrong. Before the (2006) final (against Biarritz) I thought to myself, if we lose this one there's a definite sign that I'm jinxed and for Munster's good I'd best not play in any more finals. The number of semi-finals and finals where I'd been on the losing side (two finals and four semi-finals) was demoralising. But that all made up for it."
If nothing else, that final in Cardiff gave him the happiest half-hour of his career.
"The final whistle, and the 30 minutes that followed, with the presentation, and the whole realisation of what we'd done was the absolute most enjoyable time for me. For that 30 minutes there were no worries about what would happen in the future or what had happened in the past, just the knowledge that we'd done it."
On their travels they have also had a boy, Dylan, who is five. And since then, there's been the Cork-born Amy (three), who arrived after they had moved from Douglas to Ballina on foot of visiting Anthony Foley one day in his Killaloe home and falling in love with that part of Clare.
"I'd struggle to see us ever going home at the moment, just the way Michelle and myself have been talking," he reveals.
There's a three-year plan to be Munster manager and maybe start some business venture too. The Paynes pine for only two things: their extended families and sunshine.
Last week's win in Llanelli was, he reckons, the best performance by the pack in some time, and proof their fans are mad.
"I mean that in a very good way," he explains, "absolutely crazy. You wouldn't get anything like that in South Africa, or Australia or New Zealand, I can tell you. I really think it is unique. It defines Munster more than the team."
That said, he's fully aware a drier day tomorrow will suit Llanelli.
"They've got nothing to lose, so I think they're going to be particularly dangerous," he says, adding with emphasis, "Some people are saying they've nothing to play for, and other people are talking about the B word (for bonus). You don't even want to hear that. They're like us, they play for pride; they're very similar to us in that way."
Tomorrow is another lunchtime kick-off, and this on a Sunday in what he admits is a barren-looking Thomond Park, but he likens the atmosphere to the pre-building days.
"And you're starting to get a feeling of what it's going to be like when it's finished. It's quite exciting. I think there's a good buzz in there now. You can really feel it's going to be a great stadium," he says.
This, for Payne, is bonus territory and when Doug Howlett arrives it will further stiffen competition in the back three: "It's only getting better. I'm absolutely thrilled. Come on, please, hurry up, Dougie."
Spoken like a true manager. But Payne's form has been so sensational that it would be no surprise if the Munster brains trust deferred for a while longer his stint booking hotels and flights. He has a few more meteors from outer space to catch yet.