Right then, did anyone transfer Retief Goosen out of their team before the US Open? Our resident statto disappeared with our information request in to the operational nerve-centre of Golf Masters' HQ and 10 minutes later white smoke billowed from its chimney. He emerged, disconsolate, with the grim news - "yep, four of them".

Names please. Fionnuala McMahon (The Muppets), Tom Bouchier (Storm Clouds), Hilary Park (Happy Nine) and David McDermott (Ollie's Out). David McDermott? Surely not the same David McDermott of Beaumont, Dublin who transferred Tiger Woods out of one of his teams on the eve of the US Masters? Couldn't be.

"Afraid so, it's the same story, I've done it again," said . . . David McDermott of Beaumont, Dublin. "I'm available now on www.loser.com. I'm going through a rough period at the moment - I'm a Manchester City fan so if you add their relegation to me transferring Tiger and Goosen out, well . . . I've completed a hat-trick."

When he fired Woods before the US Masters David was at least consoled by the fact that he'd brought in David Duval (runner-up) and Bernhard Langer (joint sixth) so didn't do too badly after all. "No such luck this time," he admitted this week. Nick Price missed the cut, so won precisely £199,000 less than Goosen at the US Open. And who did David hire as his replacement for Goosen? Yes, Nick Price.

It gets worse. "I thought about bringing in Stewart Cink (who finished third) but I thought he was a bit expensive. Then I was delighted when Goosen missed that putt because I thought I had Mark Brooks on another team. But then I checked and I hadn't him either." Things can only get better David. "True."

"I'll tell you what - if you want to know who's going to win the British Open just have a look at who I transfer out the week before," he advised (we will too). Talk to you the Monday after. "I'll be expecting your call."